When I first started my business, I would wake up most days with a racing mind and a knot in my stomach. My immediate reaction was to then beat up on myself for what I was feeling. After all, I should know better than to buy into my mind’s chatter. Why was this still happening? What was I doing wrong?
My second reaction was to then move into a state of resistance and avoidance. I would jump out of bed and quickly make some breakfast to numb the uncomfortable feeling in my belly. Then I would dive head first into my to-do list and wrangle some of the ‘problems’ my mind was telling me I needed to fix. I would grab my phone and log on to social media so that I could absorb myself in someone else’s life and avoid my own.
I spent months running from this discomfort and trying to control and fix the problems of my life to make it go away. But it wasn’t until I learnt how to face these feelings, dive into them, explore them and make peace with them, that they finally shifted.
And through doing this, I realised it is all because of fear. Everything I was experiencing was because my mind has got lost in the darkness of fearful thinking and it was wreaking havoc on my energy, emotions and my body.
And so today I want to share with you a step by step process that will support those of you ready to peel back the layers on your discomfort, face your fears and release them one and for all.
1. Face The Discomfort And Feel It
Notice the tendency to run, and instead do the opposite. Stop. Be still.
Find somewhere comfortable to sit. Close your eyes and bring your attention to your breath. Breathe deeply and slowly.
Notice where in your body you feel the discomfort – is it a tightness in your chest, a knot in your stomach, a lump in your throat? Bring all your attention there. Place your hands over the area where you feel that discomfort and focus even more deeply into it. Explore it in detail. Allow your breathing to deepen and expand into that uncomfortable space.
You may feel your mind wanting to pull you up into thoughts, but continue to pull it back down within yourself. Open up and become even more present to the feelings in your body. Go where you don’t want to go.
2. Witness What Is Unfolding Within You
Begin to become curious to this sensation you feel. What is it? Why is it here?
I often ask gently “What is going on here Connie? What are you feeling? What is worrying you? What is this about?”
Notice everything that is swirling around within you. Feel the discomfort in your body. Notice what thoughts are racing through your mind. Observe the key themes or areas of life that seem to be at the crux of this.
As you slow down and observe you will begin to see more clearly what this is about. You will be able to witness and notice the thoughts that are causing this discomfort. For me, it always boils down to fear.
My most typical trigger is future tripping. Worrying about things that haven’t even happened. Playing out worst-case scenario’s. Feeling scared and insecure about the future. Trying to plan and control what will unfold. Feeling anxious about upcoming changes and uncertainty.
3. Put It Under The Spotlight And Journal It Out
Now that you have some awareness and your attention has been brought to your inner world, it is time to bring it out on to paper so you can see it.
+ What is fear saying? – Write out everything that fear voice within you is telling you. Acknowledging it is the first step in releasing it. Write it all out. Fill as many pages as you need to. Just get them out of your head so you can see these thoughts for what they are.
+ What is the worst-case scenario? – All these thoughts usually boil down to one ultimate fear. Face that worst-case scenario. Write it out and look at it. Can you make peace with that?
+ When I believe these thoughts what do I feel? – Write out and describe how your body responds to these thoughts and what emotions it brings up.
4. Challenge Your Fear And Remove It’s Power
The shifts happens when you can stop automatically believing whatever your mind tells you. You instead acknowledge that there are fearful thoughts in your head, but they are not necessarily real or true. They are just thoughts. And they are just one side of the story.
All that has happened is that you have began to believe what fear is telling you. You have fallen victim to your thinking. They have taken you over.
Pull out your journal and make this declaration.
“I acknowledge that my mind has been taken over by fearful thoughts. I have been believing these limiting words. Fear has been telling me that ________. But I know this is not the truth. I know there is another perspective. I know this is just one side of the story. This is just a voice in my head telling me a story. This voice in my head is not who I am and I do not have to believe what it says. I can release these thoughts and bring in a new perspective. I am ready to see things differently.
When I believe these thoughts I feel _________. But I don’t have to believe them. I do not have to buy into them. They do not need to control me. I can watch and witness these thoughts. I can let them come and go. They have no power over me. They are not the truth”
5. Open To A New Possibility And Call In Love
It is at this point that I open up to my inner guidance and ask for help and support.
Close your eyes, breathe deeply, tune inwards and ask:
“Please help me see this differently”, “I am ready and willing to shift my perspective around this situation”, “I am ready to bring in some more supportive and loving thoughts”
Bring your attention into the area behind your heart and ask for some loving support. Place your hands over that area and ask for a new possibility.
Then go back to your journal and explore these questions. Allow the answers to rise up from within you.
+ What does the loving, supportive, kind, encouraging voice within me say about this situation?
+ What would be possible if I dropped this fear based perspective and began thinking differently?
+ What new love-driven possibility do I want to create for myself?
Would you love some support to clear and release your fear? In my 1:1 coaching programs you will work closely with me and receive practical and personalised guidance.
Read more about my coaching options, or email me at [email protected] to book a complimentary Discovery Session.
Do you find yourself avoiding your discomfort and running from your fear? Which of these steps will help you the most? Share with me in the comments below.
With love,
Connie x
Amazing article so much truth, thank you <3 xx
Thank you Greer! Love that you felt the truth in the words x
Connie I love this. Thankyou for your beautiful words of wisdom beautiful soul x
Thank you Tania, that is beautiful feedback to receive! x
Beautiful post as usual. I feel I have been doing a good job recently about dealing with the unknown and fears. But every once in a while, it starts to rise again. I notice little things and moments trigger them. I’m going to try the exercises you mentioned!
Yep Priyanka, that will continue to rise, so it is not about eliminating them but more so having the tools to work through them and shift into a new space xx
Thank you for these tips Connie! Recently I have encountered some new fears and these tips will be great to release this way of thinking. Your post was perfect timing for me 🙂 <3
Erin, the fact that you are encountering new fears is a great sign. You must be taking new steps and leaping outside your comfort zone! Glad this came at the perfect time x
Thank you for sharing this powerful process! I commit to practice it.
Make sure you let me know how you go with it Anastasia!! x
Hi, Connie!
I must say absolutely loved your message. It came right in the perfect time for me.
I have been experiencing feelings of resentment, anger and disappointment towards someone that hurt me deeply and I usually get caught up in these feelings and in their power over me. But today when I was leaving my Yôga class I found myself going over steps #4 and #5 and I hadn’t even read your text yet! Your beautiful message came to reinforce my willingness to challenge my fears and shift to a new perspective. I want to take responsability for my own feelings and strive from giving away the power over how I feel. Regardless of how much someone hurts me, I want to feel strong enough not to let this destroy me inside.
Thank you Connie for being such an angel! I’m your big fan!
Love from Brazil
Xx
Thanks so much Connie, i was having great panic and fear over something i cant make decisions over. My head was clouded with fear of the unknown and maybe shame of what people will say. I decided to search for words from the internet because the stress was causing some abdominal tension stress in my stomach and tears was running down my face. Then i found you. The outcome of what is stressing me out is not yet made but your write up lifted me up. Of-course i know it will take a great deal of practice but thanks for helping me with your write up. Sincerely appreciate it.
Thank you for such an insightful post. 🙂