I think there are two ways of determining if you are ‘following your heart’. The first is whether or not you are following the desires that your heart is calling you towards, and the second is if you living in your heart. Being in it.
One is about the actions you are taking and one is more about the person you are being. You can do what you love and you can also be love. Both are equally as powerful.
Both require you to tune in to your heart, to connect with that loving energy inside of you, and to then live from that place.
Doing what you love means you listen to your intuition, you take actions driven by what you love, you follow your passions and you express your unique gifts and talents to the world without fear.
Being love is about seeing the world, others and everything in your life through the eyes of love – no judgement, no criticism, no ego.
Both require you to move from living in your head to instead live in your heart.
This way of living sounds beautiful right? So, if it is so wonderful, why are there still so many people not doing it?
Why Don’t We Follow Our Hearts
Our society today is driven by our minds, our fears and our ego. We do not place as much value and emphasis on passion, love, fulfilment and spiritual purpose. Rather it is about external success, money, security, stability and reputation. As a result many of us do not feel it is that important to really tune in to our hearts and hear what it wants. We are too busy trying to get ahead and make something of ourselves in this world.
The heart is free and wild and is driven by love.
The head is practical and analytical and is often driven by fear. Your head will tell you what needs to be done to remain safe in the world – to get the money you want, the approval you crave and the predictability you think you need.
Head Vs. Heart
This is why when you attempt to start following your heart, you head will be very quick to thwart your actions. This fearful mind, often called the ego, will bring up all of the reasons why you cannot do what you desire, and why it is a ludicrous idea to even think about it. It will trigger memories and feelings from the past of failures, hurts and rejections that add even more power to the case that it is better to just stay where you are.
The path that your heart calls you towards may be an unconventional one. It may be scary and involve taking risks. Following your heart often requires us to take a detour from the well trodden path, and rebel from societal or family expectations in order to find our inner fulfilment. It can be a long and lonely road initially.
Often we must be willing to look at our life honestly and really evaluate what parts of it we love and which parts we do not.
Your heart’s desire may not have an initial guarantee of income, or it may require a pay cut. It may mean that you have to go against what your family wants for you, or what your friends expect of you. It may mean facing your fears and doing something that you love, yet are petrified of at the same time.
It may mean forgoing the approval you received from always doing what others wanted you to do. It will require you to be different, to do things differently.
It will mean learning to listen to a deep inner voice, rather than the loud forceful voice of the outer world.
The decision to follow your heart is a journey. If you have been living a life that is not heart driven, the decision to follow your heart will most likely turn your world on it’s head. It may be scary road, but in my opinion this is what life is all about.
Are You Following Your Heart?
I come across people all the time who have these amazing, beautiful dreams and desires, but they suppress and ignore them and tell themselves they can never have them. For most people, it is much easier to live in denial than actually face what it is that they really want. They would rather pretend they are happy with what they have and justify to themselves that their inner dreams are not really that important anyway.
Is it time you got honest with yourself? Is it time to dig deep inside and find out what you really want from this life? Is it time to stop pretending? Take a look inside your heart and ask yourself what you would love to do more than anything else in the world. Really honour what comes us for you, and give yourself permission to acknowledge those feelings.
To get started, you must begin by finding the courage to discover what your heart wants. It may be a scary process, as you may likely reveal that what your heart wants is in fact the complete opposite of what you are actually doing.
You may experience feelings of confusion, self-doubt and even regret as you begin to challenge everything you have come to know about yourself. If you are ready to connect with your heart and follow it’s calling then you will need to let go of everything you think you know.
Take inventory of what you love in life. These things may not necessarily culminate in to a complete picture or path, but that is ok. Simply start to connect with your heart energy. Start to get curious. Turn inwards and ask yourself if you are living authentically, truly in line with your values. Is your heart singing with passion, fulfilment and purpose every day?
If Following Your Heart Is So Challenging, Why Do It?
Sometimes I watch people as they go to work or go about their daily lives. You can see it in someone’s face, eyes and body posture whether or not they are following their heart and doing what they love.
I believe it is time for each of us to wake up and connect with what we really want. And then we need to act on it. We need to take risks and have the courage to move towards our goals fearlessly with 100% commitment.
In order to do this, we must be willing to be different, to do things differently and to challenge the expectations that others hold of us. When you begin to follow your heart, you must realise that anything that is not in line with your heart’s calling will start to fall away.
If nothing in this post resonates with you and you are happy in your life, then that is ok. Or maybe you are already living a heart driven life, and if so, then that is awesome. But if reading this stirs something inside of you, births new dreams and creates feelings inside your heart, then you know it is time to listen. A life of following your heart may be challenging, but the rewards you will receive will be enough to make it all worth it.
Are you on the path of following your heart or are you still finding the courage to pursue your dreams? Share your experiences in the comments section below.
With love,
Connie x
Love your new site!!!
Thank you Jess! xx
Connie, this is a super inspiring post, and I LOVE your new website. It is gorgeous. I’m excited to delve into your ebook and to get your newsletters. I know I am following my heart when I get big butterflies in my stomach when I’m brainstorming and scheming. That deep excitement is never wrong 🙂 Love the line “the heart is free and wild and driven by love” – so true! Thanks, lovely! xo
Hi Jacqueline, I am so thrilled you love the site! Butterflies in your tummy are a beautiful way of describing how the heart communicates to us. Many of us mistake that for fear, but it is wonderful that you know the true meaning of that feeling. Keep following those butterflies xx
Lovely article connie. Well done. Good reminder of why following your heart is key. Great looking website too! x
Thank you Ursula! So happy you love the site xx
Congratulations on the relaunch Connie – I’m sure you feel relieved getting through it!
Love, love, love this topic – it’s what’s in my heart.
The best part about following your heart is it knows where you’re going, it just isn’t logical. Trusting it can be tricky but so worth it, huh?
All the best with the new site xox
Thank you Helen, you are such a gem. I completely agree with you that trusting that inner calling is the hardest part. It really requires so much faith and the ability to follow a ‘feeling’ rather than a plan! I know for me, it can be incredibly scary, but is also oh so worth it. Sending you some big virtual hugs xx
Yay Connie! Your new site is looking great. Congrats, I’m sure you’re feeling very relieved and excited to get the ball rolling!
I just featured you in a blog post of mine which focuses on my favourite wellness bloggers, if you wanted to pop by. Thanks a million for all of your inspiring work. xx
Hi Erin, yay thank you for featuring me on your blog amongst some of my most favourite women!! I am so thrilled that you love the site and thank you so much for sharing my work with your readers. You rock xx
Great words of wisdom.. I have been struggling with this for some time.. and maybe that time is NOW that i should just follow my heart and my dreams.. I have wasted enough time already.. and the dream is still very much alive and very strong.. it wont let me go i must move into it then…
Hey Connie,
I stumbled upon you via Jess Ainscough. Just wanted to say in the last two days that I found you and your beautiful inspiring posts I have felt so much more alive and happy. I’ve read many of your posts, drinking up all the goodness and taking in all your words. I have to say, I’ve never felt so content, relaxed and good about myself. It’s been such a stressful year, with lots of complicated rubbish that seems have over taken my life. I lost control and it’s made me sick. BUT you’ve lit up my little shining light again. You’ve inspired me to take control of my life. I’m in charge of how I feel! I’m in charge of whether or not I let people get me down. How crazy and wonderful it is to finally realise!! So thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. Can’t wait to read more – I’d love to do the 90 day challenge when it comes round again next year. Love, Chloe Tully
I have been unhappy with my relationship of almost 15yrs. I have struggled to hold on to my relationship but wonder if my attachment is what is holding me back. We truly do love each other & I don’t want to change his life in a negative way (or mine) but I am driving myself crazy cause I am feeling stuck 🙁 Trying to figure out rather I should move on or keep working at this relationship …..
@ Julianna and Connie. I can deffinetly relate to you Julianna, you dont need to say much but I can feel exactly the sticky situation you are in. I also feel “stuck” in my relationship of 12 years. We love eachother but unfortunetly I tend to get these “deep” feelings that hold me back and I start to doubt the relationship. This is not fair to me but mostly the boyfriend as well, since it seems he doesn’t feel that way. But It affects the entire relationship in an unhealthy way. I came to realise I’m too scared to let go due to the history and routine we both developed. But bottom line there isn’t that kind of LOVE that I would like to have, it’s just the comfort we both built. I came to realise I look at this relationship in perspective of my head rather than my heart, but my heart has been screaming louder and louder lately. That’s where I came accross Connie’s blog after googling, courage to follow your heart. 🙂 so just know there are others out there just like you. I’m hoping to find a little courage to make this big change in my life and follow my heart even not knowing what lies ahead. I wish you all the best as well.
Hi Connie,
I have spent the afternoon reading through your website, and I absolutely love it. Your articles are inspiring, including this one.
I totally agree you need some courage to do your hearts desires. But in saying that, the choice to do whatever your heart truly sings for is easy. Sure there may be some discomfort and fear, but it always feels amazing when you take action.
Jill
Oh thank you Jill, I am so happy to hear you are loving what I am sharing
And you are spot on about following your heart – it is actually the easiest path, but it is all of our fear and resistance that complicates it xx
Wow, this post is so beautiful. I got a really special feeling from reading this. I feel like crying, I am so thankful for everything you have taught me. I keep developing for each day and with your help it is such a blast!
So thank you!
This post helped me so much. I wasn’t following my heart until recently. Lots of fear and unknown kept me from following it. I finally woke up one morning and said I want to live a life of love for myself.
All it takes is that decision lauren. Well done beautiful x
This is beautiful. I relate to every word. I just graduated from college, literally yesterday, and have been dealing with a lot of confusion, angst and fear as my heart battles mightily with my head. I’ve received two job offers so far, one in sales at a corporate company with great benefits and a predictable future, and one at a star-up with a salary half as much as the other offer. My head is telling me to take the bigger salary, to be safe and reap the many short-term benefits I’d be rewarded, and my heart is pulling me in the other direction. I love the start-up culture, I love the unpredictability of it and I plan on being the CEO of my own company one day. I’d be getting the experience my heart desires if I sign the offer from the start-up company, but would be making half as much.
I’ve since signed the smaller offer with the start-up company. I spent an entire night, alone, meditating and really trying to listen to the inner voice which wasn’t easy. I was under intense stress dealing with this decision but ultimately made the one I knew I’d be happy making.
Thank you for this. It really hit home.
Thank you, Connie, for this wholehearted and encouraging post! My heart is jumping, but still my mind is winning all the time because of many obstacles that stand in my way and because of my insecurities. I keep trying, anything will be good in the end. Much love!!!
Lina xx