The process of transformation is rarely a perfect, linear path that we walk though with grace and ease. Rather we are often thrown in to a messy process of change, re-organisation and temporary chaos. If we don’t take a broader perspective to see the beautiful and perfect, divine process that is unfolding, we can easily feel like our life is falling apart.
If we react with fear to this process we will find ourselves clinging, controlling and becoming wracked with anxiety. When things fall away we will perceive them as losses and will feel grief, fear and pain as they leave our life. We may resist the growth and opportunities we are being called towards. We will fight against the current that is calling us in new directions.
Our mind will be quick to tell us that things are going wrong and even perhaps that we are doing things wrong. We may feel like a failure if we lose money, abandoned if a relationship ends, and lose our sense of self if our career goes through a shift.
But if we can understand that we are in a process of transformation, and embrace the learnings that are present for us, we can glide through it with so much more peace and ease.
6 Signs You’re In a Process Of Transformation
I am personally right in the middle of a massive period of transformation at the moment, and I am sharing the following 6 signs with you directly from my own personal experience. I am watching my external world shift and change dramatically as old forms and structures are rapidly falling away and an incredible space is being created as a platform for the new to rush in.
For me, this process is about surrendering to my soul and knowing that everything which has been built in my life from a space of need, fear or ego is crumbling so that soul can guide my life.
So, if you can relate to any of these, please know you are not alone. Your life is up-levelling and incredible new things are on their way to you, so take a deep breath, let go and flow with the process.
1. Things Are Falling Apart & Falling Away
Clearing away of the old is necessary to create space and a clean slate to lay new foundations and build more authentic structures. Many of us struggle with letting go, as we fear the space that will be created and we have no idea who we are without these external forms that define us.
This can be one of the most scary and unsettling times.When things in our life begin to crumble around us, it can trigger feelings of anxiety, grief and the desire to cling.
On a deep level there is a part of you that is ready to call in the new, which is why this letting go process has began. You are making room. You are re-building. One some level you have shifted within you, and so the world around you is now changing to reflect that.
How To Manage This: Surrender completely and let it happen. Trust whole-heartedly and have complete faith that there is a divine process unfolding. You may not understand it yet, but on some level what is leaving is no longer aligned with your highest good. New things are on their way, you just have to trust the process and be patient.
2. You Feel Confused, Anxious & Full of Mind Chatter
The process of transformation cannot be understood by the mind. It is a process guided by something much deeper and it falls outside the realms of logic and reason. The more you try to understand what is happening, the more confused you will become.
Your mind will try to keep you on the path of what makes sense so that it can stay in control and feel like it knows what is going to happen. Being pushed in the dark depths of uncertainty can throw you off in to strong feeling of fear, anxiety and panic.
It is likely you will find yourself battling between the conflicting desires of your head and heart. You will experience confusion when your heart and soul are wanting to speak up but your mind is questioning and over-analysing. Your mind will also be buzzing and racing incessantly in attempt to keep you disconnected from your heart and soul.
How To Manage This: Stop trying to figure it out. You don’t need to know why anything is happening and you definitely don’t have to try to understand it or solve it. Instead get in to your body which is where you will find connection with your feelings, your heart and your inner guidance.
3. You’re Not Getting The Results You Used To Get
The actions that used to create certain results, are no longer reaping the same rewards. No matter how hard you try, things just don’t seem to work. You encounter barriers, brick-walls and obstacles at every turn. You are now being called to re-assess what you do, and why.
Many of us act from a space of fear and need and this old way of being can no longer survive as you start to transform. When this happens, it is a powerful reminder to take our attention of what we are doing and return our focus to who we are being in our lives.
If you have been defining yourself through your external results, if you have been searching for external forms of love, if you have been basing your self worth on what you do, then you are going to get a shake up. When things in your life stop working, it is a big fat sign that the way you have been doing things is not truly authentic and aligned.
How To Manage This: Step away. Stop doing. Let go of the desire to continue to push, force and figure it out. If it isn’t flowing effortlessly then let it go. Bring your attention back to who you are being, how you feel and check in with the ways that fear is perhaps driving your actions.
4. You Feel Drawn To Retreat & Go Internal
As the world around you feels unsteady and uncertain, you may be feeling the call to retreat a little and turn inwards. Bringing our attention within ourselves and stepping away from the external world is a natural part of the transformation process.
This is not about shutting off from the outside world, but rather re-defining your relationship with everything outside of you.
The process of transformation provides incredible opportunity for inner learnings, expansion and growth. We can discover so much about ourselves.
Bringing your attention inwards is about learning to fill yourself up so you can then overflow on the outside. It is about learning how to connect with yourself and find what you are seeking within you.
How To Manage This: Show up for the inner work and take an inner inventory. How can you support your inner world and create feeling of peace, balance and serenity? Listen to yourself. Ask yourself what you need and learn to give to yourself. Open your heart to yourself and begin to love and appreciate who you are.
5. Relationships Are Ending & People Are Leaving Your Life
So many of our relationships are created on the foundations of need, control and co-dependency and we don’t even realise it. We are in this dynamic with others where we expect them to make us feel how we want to feel and to be the source of our love.
Any relationship that is infused with fear energy, will begin to become unsteady. The relationship will either fall away completely, or it will leave your life temporarily while you each go through a process of healing within yourself so that a new dynamic can be created between you.
The new relationships you want to create are ones where two people are whole, complete and full within themselves and come together to play with each other, to create joy and to overflow so that they create a powerful life force between them.
How To Manage This: Let them go. Notice your reactions and move through them. Let yourself feel the grief, pain and sadness. The process of fully feeling and releasing these emotions is incredibly healing.
6. Old Ways Of Being Are No Longer Working
When we are being called to up level our life and embody new ways of being, we are going to experience a period where our old ways of being stop working. Old patterns driven by fear, need, ego, attachment, control and force will cease to work and you will be called to embody more soulful, heart-driven and love-filled ways of being.
As we start to become conscious to our unconscious parts it can be incredibly confronting. You may now learning how to re-define who you are and how you find your sense of self and get love.
Use this as a chance to see where you have created false identities and ways of being that do not deeply serve you. Your purpose is being re-assessed and evaluated. You must become conscious and aware of the why behind everything that you do now.
How To Manage This: Begin to choose new ways of being. If you were to show up in a space of love and allow the energies of joy, inspiration, kindness, acceptance, peace, flow, passion, trust and soul guide your life, what would be different? Be aware of who you are being moment by moment and begin to make new choices.
A New Energy Will Soon Rise Up
As you start to create space within yourself and your world, new ideas will begin to bubble up into your conscious mind. As you create space by releasing what is no longer serving you and is not truly aligned, you will allow new guidance, energy and support to rush in.
This new energy will begin by stirring within you, and it will soon begin to break through. As it rises, you must allow it to guide and lead you forward. This will feel new and unfamiliar so be gentle with yourself during this time.
You may or may not know or understand these new ideas. They may challenge you and the way you are used to doing things. They may call you in to uncharted territory, to leave a relationship or to pursue a new career. They might call you to express parts of yourself that you have been suppressing.
If you take your attention off the external, you will soon return to a state of inner balance and reconnect with the peace within you. Your life might look like a total mess, but if you are riding the wave of transformation and embracing the process you will soon find yourself dropping into a space of peace.
Would you love some support with your own process of transformation? In my 1:1 coaching programs you will work closely with me and receive practical and personalised guidance.
Read more about my coaching options, or email me at [email protected] to book a complimentary Discovery Session.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this post. Are you in the midst of a process of transformation? While of these signs are you experiencing at the moment? Share with me in the comments below.
With love,
Connie x
I love this post and it resonates so deeply with me at this very moment. This is exactly what I’m going through and this extremely helpful. Thank you!
Perfect Shilo, I hope this helps you know that you are definitely not alone! x
Dear Connie, I know this article is already at least 8 years old but I am happy I came across it. The transformation I’m in is strangely absolute. It’s like the door to my old ways is shut, I can feel it without a doubt. I can also feel that it’s all for the best but find it very scary at the same time. It’s hard to feel all your certainties about who you thought you were shaken. So thank you for this feast of recognition. I feel less alone because of your post and the women replying to it. Love, Suzanne
This is spot on Connie! I wish I had read this 3 years ago when I started to go through mine. It would of helped me immensely. Instead i tried to control everything and I couldn’t let go. This caused huge anxiety and emotional blocks in my body. Reading your blogs has helped me realise that all I need to do is to just let go, drop into my heart and body and trust the process. This new approach has made me feel free and I am feeling super happy!!! Thanks for sharing and for your wise words. Love it!!! xoxo
I would have loved to know this myself too Melissa. It SO easy to think everything is going wrong, but I have been through this process enough times now that I recognise it. Something new and incredible always arises from this process. I can’t wait to see what it is! x
Hey Connie
Nice article. Can totally relate. The last 7 months have been a period of huge transformation for me.
It started with a huge drop in our finances, which brought me to breaking point, then allowed the process of change.
As a result, finally starting my dream business ! katemoloney.com whoop !
Kate, many of us experience it with finances as it really stops us in our tracks and forces us to re-assess and perhaps change our course of action. Congrats on your new site. Love it! x
Hi Connie, such a beautiful post, many things to note down and that are supportive to me.
My healing journey has involved a lot of periods of transformation and turning inward. But yes the last few weeks have been tough! It feels like collectively we are all shifting and rising through a big phase again, and also that’s combined with what we are healing within our own circumstances too!
There’s also that tricky balance isn’t there, of trusting or intuiting what it is we are meant to change or control within the present,and what we are meant to surrender into for a wider or longer reaching plan or lesson.
Your words, as they flow right from your heart, have in recent weeks, lead me to some a-ha moments, as what you write helps me when I apply it to my own situation of illness.
So THANK YOU so much for all you share, and just know it reaches out and makes a difference. What you speak of resonates with me and I’m sure so many others on the path of self love and being authentic,
Love & light
Kat xo
Yes it is a tricky balance and it is a moment to moment practise of tuning in, listening and taking the next little step that presents itself. I agree with you that there is a collective shift going on. All we can do is strap on our seatbelt and enjoy the ride! x
Hi Connie, thank you so much for this post. This is EXACTLY everything that I am going through right now. I really needed to hear this. People are distancing, I am feeling the need to step away, my knee is giving out which is because of the external and I am also thinking internal pressure that I have been putting myself under and now I have to find new ways to move. I am putting all this transition down to turning 28 in 2 weeks. Something is shifting. Thank you so much for this xx
My pleasure beautiful. Pay close attention to the signs both around you and within your body, as it is all communicating to you. Sometimes all we can do is surrender, create some space for stillness and wait until some clarity appears. Sending you lots of love & light x
Wow Connie, so beautiful. Number 5 truly spoke to me in a big way! Thank you!
Yep yep, no.5 is a biggie!! x
Hi Connie
This is a GREAT post and really reflects where I am at this point in time.
I have been going through a huge and very much needed transformation over the past two months and your blog has been such a fantastic resource to help me through this time, so thank-you!
Last week my anxiety started to resurface and I really struggled with over thinking everything, big and small, so I have made a conscious effort to refocus this week. This post has come at a perfect time.
Thank you so much for all of your beautiful wisdom.
Beautiful to hear how deeply it resonates Danielle. Our mind will definitely go in to freak out mode during these periods so amp up your grounding practices like getting in nature, dance, movement, yoga, healthy eating, meditation, play, creativity and lots of sleep to really support you x
Love this article Connie I can definately relate. You’re amazing, keep up the good work.x
Thank you gorgeous x
I can definitely relate to this post at the moment. I said yes to everything but the one that stuck out the most was the mind chatter. I definitely need to switch off and just surrender. Thanks for this great article that came at a timely moment 🙂
Aaah the mind chatter! This is where we need to ground in to our body the most – nature is great for that, as is movement! Sometimes just turning off the lights and sitting with a candle until you feel your self settle a little, is also enough to help create some inner space x
I love what you said about what happens if we react with fear to these periods of transformation. The idea of embracing the learnings that are present is something that so resonates with me right now and I’ll definitely be keeping that in my heart as I go through my own transformation. Thank you for this!
Chelsea there is so much incredible growth and learning that can happen in these periods! Yep, keep that beautiful heart of yours open hun x
I saw this post scrolling on facebook and something called to me to read it. I thank you for sharing this. I can realte to all 6 signs and they have overwhelmed me. Reading this and knowing that i am going through something instead of my life falling apart and that im not alone feeling like this bring me alot of comfort. Lately my thoughts have been pretty optimistic and seem to point me in a better direction. From this point on ill do my best to just go with the flow :-). Again thank you for sharing this.
Melissa so happy you came to read this post – sounds like it was written for you 🙂 It truly is so comforting to know that there is a perfect and divine process unfolding and that while your life as you know it is crumbling, it doesn’t mean you have to. You are definitely not alone beautiful x
I am in this period of transition too. I feel like it had always been there – for maybe a year or so, but it has lay dormant as I have been revisiting this for such a long time. I have tried to control and hold on things which are no longer serving me. And the funny thing is, as soon as I stopped fighting, as soon as I let it all go an eases myself into the unknown with gentleness and an open heart, I feel supported. I know that there will still be a lot of emotion pouring from from time to time – but I am no longer going to run from these feelings. I will feel them, experience them and learn what I need to from them. Thank you for your post Connie – I can’t tell you how much your blog has helped me along my own journey! Much love x
Oh beautiful Jo, I feel like it has been going on for so long for me too! You are so right, the minute we stop fighting everything softens, the struggle releases and we can actually see the perfection in everything that is happening. Sending you so much love xx
Wow, Connie, this is powerful stuff! Thank you for sharing the lessons you’ve learned along your own transformation journey. I can definitely relate to all of these at the moment as I navigate through a season of loss/change/grief. Reading this was so soothing to my soul. xx
I know so many people are riding the same wave I am Sarah and so it felt like such an important post to right. So beautiful to hear it has been supportive for you xx
This literally came at the perfect time. I am smack dab in the middle of a transition and all the steps you have described, just happened. I think in step 6 and beyond. It feels so comforting to read that other people have gone through this too. THank you for posting this! SO happy I found you on instagram. The universe obviously knew I needed your wisdom <3
Oh wow Amanda. How perfect!! You are obviously being incredibly guided and supported right now and so it is awesome you were lead to exactly what you needed xx
No such thing as a coincidence and needed to read this tonight! It’s funny because I googled transformation and feeling alone and my iPad wouldn’t open 3 other sites but went right to this one;) I was laid off about a year and half ago at a job I was miserable at and then decided to take the leap of faith.. I refer as “eat pray and loving” lol ..this year has been amazing but financially I am in turmoil. I also feel like I do not have any friends anymore. But spiritually it has been beyond words… I am in the middle of declaring bankruptcy to start a new life and had a mini melt down today questioning if I was on the right path.. I texted a good friend who’s been on the journey with me for some inspiration but felt her response was so cold.. It’s pretty ironic that you have summarized my life in this article and feel blessed to have come across it. Thanks again .. Xo
Hi Connie
I am reading this article a year on from when you wrote it. I wish I had have read it a year ago BUT I wasn’t going through a transformation then, I am going through one now.
38 days ago, my husband of 15 years told me he no longer wanted to be in a relationship – Nr 5 resonates strongly with me. Whilst it was a total shock at the time, I am a very different person to whom I was on May 26th. I have done so much transforming since then and the journey has just begun.
It’s a rocky road but I am going with the flow and embracing the changes, feelings and I am actually celebrating all the revelations that are leaping out at me. My husband and I wouldn’t have separated if things were going well so it’s definitely a period of self reflection and transformation.
Thank you for your beautiful insights. How are you travelling now – a year on after you wrote this article? Will you do a follow up?
Hi
Just reading this 2016 feels as though years worth of change is happening all at once this post is so comforting thanks !!! Xxxx
My horoscope let me know I’m in a period of transformation.. I’m not opposed to it either, already letting go of people and things. Although I don’t know what to expect, I’m willing to expect the unexpected. This post assures me I’m not the only one. Thank you for sharing and best vibes to your life. Peace.
What a beautiful post. Thank you. Well, it’s such a deep relief and reassurance that I understand / accept this phenomenal transition taking place. It’s like I’ve disappeared through an invisible door and a whirlwind is creating a inside down world inside me. Detached, unfamiliar, lost, loss, truth, sadness, fear…from a deep place inside me…from long ago. The more I yield and relinquish control the better it feels then the fear subsides and I’love that as it has no place with ne anymore…honestly this is a huge challenge but I now believe in ir. Wonder how all those people who posted a f ew years ago are now doing? A Heartfelt thank you.
I’m on the cusp of getting fired at work. My mother won’t talk to me. My friend of ten years threw me under the bus over a woman. I’m in financial hardship. This all occurred within one month. By all definitions I’m in the middle of a transformation.
This is well written and resonates with me deeply. This is a timeless peice and I’m very grateful to have come across your work.
All resonates with me at the moment since i am facing lot of issues from my career to emotional blocks from last Aug’16 till date, really a long time, my patience is now coming to an end..don’t know what i am going through but yes the points you have mentioned really resonates with me.
Thanx.
Thank you so much for this incroyable informations!
I am in the middle of it as we speak.
within few monthsI have watched my world crashing down in so many ereas of my life!
its almost like my luck took a turn in a negative way!
Until this transformation took place, I can say that anything I wanted would manifest effortlessly !
For a while I thought it was menopause, or depression, it very destabilizing.
One thing I notice is ,the more I let go of control, fear, worries I feel a sense of inner peace, its almost like I dont care what is going to happenned, I know in my heart that everything is going to be ok!
I also notice a certain feeling of truly being in the moment , today i have experienced an amazing of a proof of what is coming out of going through a transformaton , my daughter is 15 and for the first time in a long time we were able to have a deep conversation without any interruption for at least 2 hours, after she remove herself and went to her room, I sudennly became aware and conscious of what just happened it was magnificent!
I know i wrote a lot’s I truly wanted to share my experiences.
Thank you
Thank you for this beautifully written piece. It speaks so loudly to me at this moment. Your words have helped me be excited for this transformation, rather than fearful and resistant. Thanks again. Sending much love and gratitude to you 🙂
You really don’t know how much this has helped me already. God sent me here, you really taught me so much just by reading this today. You have really gave me the answers that I needed to know about this transformation process. It makes me so excited and anxious of my new beginning. And just knowing to heal to grow to learn and just to embrace and to be strong and remain focused on the important things that will get me through it. THANKS SO MUCH CONNIE!!
This makes sense but i fear it means the end of my relationship. I live eith my partner so a break up would be huge. Am triggered by so much atm
Wow, of the different sites regarding whats happening. I feel lost , not smiling too much , fatigue and no energy, very irritable, angry. Yet I know gig is up with my ego and reactions to everything in life. My familiarity is still with what I know while pain is at boiling point to look at a new path. 14 yrs sober, looking for strength and hope to hang in. I also grew up trying to be perfect thinking, then I would be loved. Its all come to a head, yet I feel exhausted, lost , confused , and less than and a monster sometimes. Thankyou for yoursite, sincerely, Kelly C.
i am going through this now. i first diagnosed this series of emotions as a mixture of intrusive thoughts, bipolar disorder, and anxiety. now, finally after a week, i’ve found this article that i finally relate with. thankyou so much.
I love this post. I have just moved home from having lived abroad for 4 years and met a guy the last months that I also had to say good bye too. I am more lost and confused than ever and I can see the energy between me and the guy sinking as my energy have started to become more fearful to letting go.
First site on Google. Exactly what I needed! Xoxoxox thank you!!
Excellent article..I felt you were personally talking to me! Lot of changes happening in my life and I look forward to the new me..
Thank you for sharing as this has made me realize a few important things about life. I do not know what is in store but definitely trust the universe!
NaMāste
Love, peace & blessings
Indeed, healing and transformation bring numerous great things to our lives: emotional and mental stability, opportunities for new beginnings, and more.
Iam in the process of total transformation because I feel all of the 6 signs sometimes too much uncomfortable that I don’t know what to do but cry sometimes it feels too much better in my heart that I don’t understand why
oh my goodness! thank God I was guided to you tonight. Now I understand the tears and fears and anxiety and all of it. Awareness is terrifying because it is forcing me to look at all the stupid horrible things I did. I am my mind, heart and soul and I would give anything to cope with loss of loved ones better and be able to look in the mirror and see someone beautiful not ugly staring back. I can’t stand myself right now. I don’t know what the next step is. I have nothing to hold on to ..like I’m falling