Moving Through The Fear of Stepping Up

There are bubbles of nerves in my belly. My hands feel cold, and a little clammy. Uneasiness niggles at me. I feel a strange sense of anticipation.  My mind is jumpy and distracted.

I breathe deeply in to the discomfort. I use my inhalation to expand into the constriction. And as I exhale I release the heavy energy within me. I plant my feet firmly on the ground and find temporary comfort in it’s strong feeling of support.

But then my mind kicks off again on a jittery train of thought. Fear-driven energy rambles through my head. I feel scattered and anxious.

This is what it feels like when you are standing on the edge of making one of those big, life-altering decisions. A decision that terrifies you, challenges you and requires you to break through the limitations you have placed upon yourself.

I have found myself at these crossroads many time at the past. I call them my daring moments. Where you make a decision that changes the course of your life forever. Where life dares you and says “What’s it gonna be? Are you going to show up or are you going to run away?”

This is your chance to decide. Back away, retreat and hide out of fear. Or show up bravely and powerfully for what you love.

 

When Life Calls You To Step Up

The process of stepping up in your life is so intimately unique to you, and you alone. It is not the size of the decision or what it entails and it doesn’t have anything to do with the specific circumstances that are unfolding.

The process is about what it stirs in you. What it requires of you. The extent to which it challenges your perceptions of yourself, tests your limitations and beckons you into the unknown.

So, here is mine.

I have just been offered a beautiful new apartment. It is stunning. Everything I had dreamed of when I closed my eyes and imagined my gorgeous new home. My heart leaped the minute I saw it. My soul said a resounding yes. My whole body vibrated with a powerful knowing and as soon as I walked out I sent a message to my current flatmate and said “I’ve found my home. It is the one

If all I needed to do was follow that gorgeous, divinely inspired feeling, I would be fine. But that feeling has taken me way outside the perception I have of what is possible for me. Following this feeling will require me to stretch my mind. To let go of my set ideas about money, what I believe I am capable of, what I think I can or can’t afford, and what I can handle.

So what do you do when you stand, teetering on the edge of fear, being pulled forward by your heart, but feeling paralysed by the thoughts in your mind?

Here is what I did..

 

1. Notice Your Self Imposed Limitations

When I started apartment hunting, all I found were places that weren’t right. I would occasionally come across something I loved, but then if it fell outside of my budget I would right it off. I had to start to recognise where I was placing fear-driven limitations on my love-driven heart’s desire.

My heart longed to live in a spacious, beautiful home, yet I was telling myself it wasn’t possible and making my heart settle for something it didn’t truly want. The minute I started to lift my limitations and only view the places that felt truly right, was the exact moment I found my dream home.

 

2. Expand Your Mind And Open To New Possibilities

Initially my mind didn’t even let me entertain the idea of living somewhere that exceeded my pre-determined budget. But I decided to have a curious mind and playful spirit and practise opening up to a new idea. What if I actually could afford to live in an apartment I loved?

When you think in limitations, all you do is focus on why you can’t do something and why it is not possible. But when you open your mind to dream in possibilities you start to explore how you can make it work, and suddenly new opportunities appear before you.

 

3. Dive Deep Into Fear & Process It Fully

When I got the call offering me the apartment, I literally shut down in fear. The words “I can’t do it” and “This is too big for me” ran through my head. Luckily I was able to get on the phone to two of my incredible soul sisters and talk it out. As I opened my heart, expressed my fear and cried to these gorgeous souls they lovingly listened and supported me. I let myself continue to feel all of the fear, as I sat on the beach and sobbed.

As I moved through the emotion something shifted in me. A space cleared and I was suddenly able to hear my inner guidance again. She spoke quietly, yet powerfully “You can do this honey. I’ve got you

 

4. Take The Step In Front Of You, And Forget The Rest

All I had to do in that moment, was call the agent and say yes. I didn’t have to worry what was going to happen in 2 weeks, a month or 6 months. That was irrelevant and I know from experience that life can drastically change in an instant.

I just had to follow that powerful, palpable energy within me which was calling me forward towards what I loved. I didn’t need to think, plan or worry. I just had to show up for the decision that lay at my feet in the moment, and trust that the next time a step needed to be taken, I would be supported to take that one too.

 

Moving Beyond The Fear

And once you do all this, there may still be fear. You may still be standing in the face of uncertainty having no idea how you are going to pull this off.

But once you move through your process, a new feeling will arise. A strange sense of calm will bubble up. A sense of knowing emerges. There is an inner certainty, based on no logic at all, that everything is going to be fine. More than fine. You have got this. You can do it.

And so I am doing it. I am moving in to my own home, expanding the idea of what I had previously thought was possible for me, and opening up to receive more from life.

I am busting through limiting stories of what I am capable of and re-defining who I think I am. I am releasing stories about what I think I can and can’t afford, beliefs about my ability to support myself and how I show up in the world.

This is about truly owning what you want. Going after that bright, bold, heart-driven dream. No longer compromising. Throwing out the excuses. And then showing up to face that fear voice that tells you can’t do it, and still doing it anyway.

 

Are you sitting on a the verge of an up-levelling experience? Is your heart calling you to step up and claim what you want? Leave me a comment and tell me what you will take on board from this post to help you.

 

Would you love some support? Email connie@conniechapman.com to book a free Discovery Session and find out more about how my 1:1 coaching program can support you to move beyond your fear and claim what you truly want.

With love,

Connie x

16 thoughts on “Moving Through The Fear of Stepping Up”

  1. Hi Connie, its great and inspiring as well. I would tell you about myself. I got volunteer retirement from navy and was Aircraft maintenance engineer there
    I had a dream to come and get settled in the fascinating atmosphere in any part of Australia. One of my friend had righty did that and gentle man is residing in Sydney. The moment it out of processing it, AME skill was reduced from the Australian skill list. But I not able to convince myself. My heart ponders every time I think of.it was my conviction to make it happen but seems I have to compromise with my beautiful dream I lived upon and control my passion.
    Connie Its your inspirational blog which drove me to share my life experiences.

    Would be waiting for your kind reply.
    Ranjay

    1. Hi Ranjay, it is great to hear that what I am sharing on this blog, is supporting you to listen more deeply to your heart. Keep following what you feel, as this is what is truly right for you!

  2. I love this article because it can apply to so many things in life. For me, I can apply it to my life where I am having to make lots of really tough decisions about my future. And it is a case of constantly checking in with yourself and following that inner voice of certainty about taking big scary steps. And it is always followed by that feeling of calm. So amazing. I have to tell you that your blog (and course!) is really turning out to be a massive healing factor in this time in my life. Don’t know where I’d be without it. Xxx

    1. Ellie you are so right.. this example plays out in so many ways. It happens every time we reach one of those decision points in our life where we have to choose between head and heart. It is beautiful that what I am sharing here is so supportive for you too x

  3. Hi Connie
    First off, congratulations on your new home – you deserve it!
    Moving through fear is something that I am really battling at the moment. Ever since I was a little girl, I always knew that I was destined for big things. I would like to be a writer and really embrace all the creativity locked inside of me and just create (in all different shapes and forms)!
    I have been working in my current (office) job for just over 3 years now, and over the past year and a half, I have been at the point where I almost feel sick going there. It feels inauthentic to who I am. My body rejects the idea of going there, and my desire to follow my dreams is getting stronger. I have been taking babysteps and have started writing a lot more over the past 4 months, ever since I requested to go part time.
    But I really feel like I need to let go of my job and work hard at my dreams now, but that of course means losing the security of my income, and I also need to think about my partner. He is wonderful, always supportive of me, but I question if I am being selfish, am I just trying to get out of something that I don’t enjoy doing?
    In your post you mentioned saying yes and releasing the worry of what will happen in the next 2 weeks, month or 6 months because life can change in an instant. I think I need to take on this perspective, and believe in my own capabilities, and trust that everything will fall into place as long as I am being true to myself.
    Thanks again for another great post 🙂
    Danielle

    1. Danielle I can really relate to what you are sharing. I remember when I left my day job to start my business – I was terrified. But you will reach a point (and it sounds like you are there now) where the feeling of NOT following your heart is too painful to bear and so you simply have to leap. We are always supported when we follow what is true for us hun. Keep letting love guide your life and take it one step at a time. Sending you love xx

      1. Thanks Connie, and thank-you for being such a great example of someone who lives from the heart. It is definitely something I aspire to. xx

    2. Hi Danielle, thank you for your post – I can’t explain how much I just 100% relate to literally every word you posted! It’s encouraging to feel that what I’m experiencing isn’t totally unusual! Thank you for sharing and good luck with your journey.

      1. Oh Samantha, isn’t it beautiful and comforting to know that there are others feeling similar things right now. Keep saying yes to the love-fuelled call of your heart hun xx

  4. Holy cow Connie! I literally just went through this exact same experience. My hubby and I have been house hunting for a long time in a grueling market. We were almost ready to give up when we discovered a house right outside our budget. We went back and forth about and then I finally just asked “Is the only reason we’re wanting to say no to this is because we’re scared?” The answer was yes. We had done all the research and calculated the risk and everything pointed to yes, except our fear.

    When decided to push past that fear and offer on the house our offer was accepted. And that very next morning I received emails in my inbox about great new work opportunities. Once we changed our limiting beliefs about what’s possible and stopped living in fear the universe rewarded us. It was a powerful 24 hours and I know the same will happen for you.

    1. Katie YES this is exactly what I went through! I love your story, as it is a beautiful example of how divinely supported (and rewarded) we are when we move beyond fear to take a leap and follow our heart. Thank you! Hearing this feels really supportive for me x

    1. Bella, if your heart is calling you to dance, then dance hun!! Let the fear move through you as you move your body!

  5. Hi Connie, I am leaving for my freshman year of college Saturday morning & I am terrified. If you asked me a month ago how I felt I would’ve told you something like, “I’m so ready”, or “Gosh, I wish I was already there. Can I just GO, please?” But, it’s really starting to hit me. My whole life is about to change. Yes, I’m terrified but I am looking forward to this new chapter of my life. Honestly, I think it’s just the fear of growing up. But, like I said, this is such a beautiful time of change and growth. “Everything you want is on the other side of fear.”

    Thank you for your encouraging words. x

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