Got A Case Of The Not Enough’s?: How To Create An Abundance Mindset

For as long as I can remember I always feared not having enough. It was like I could never get enough to make me feel full. I dreaded the empty, anxious feeling that would arise when the circumstances of my world didn’t make me feel the way I wanted them to. So, I did whatever I could to avoid it. I worked harder, strived and achieved in the hope that getting more would ease my inner ache.

I know I am not alone in this lack mentality. This nagging feeling of not enough. It plays out in our relationships with money, in our career’s, with our partners and within ourselves.

This mentality drives us to be mass consumers and excessive do-ers. We find ourselves on an endless treadmill of seeking. Seeking more love, more money, more recognition, more stuff. But we still feel empty.

There is this constant inner feeling, gnawing at you. You try to avoid it. Sometimes you can. But then something will happen – your bank account drops, that guy doesn’t text you back, you put on a few kilos and then all of the sudden you are writhing in anxiety.


Symptoms Of A Lack Mentality

The lack mentality is a constant feeling of not enough.

While many of us see this as an external problem, I believe it stems from something deeper. It’s root cause is the underlying fear that I am not enough.

Most of us don’t want to face up to that feeling so we will keep our focus outside of ourselves, trying to make it go away by doing and getting more. 

The not enough mentality seems to always be thinking about what is missing. Our mind is consumed with thoughts of what I don’t have, why I am not enough, what I did wrong, where I am not feeling what I want, how I am not where I want to be, what isn’t here. And the list goes on…

We find ourselves fixated on this way of thinking. Going round in circles in our mind. Obsessing. And the more we focus on what we don’t have, the more we experience the lack of it, so it becomes this perpetual cycle.

We may at different points in our life, receive what we are seeking and feel that temporary hit of satisfaction. But this doesn’t solve the underlying problem.

No matter how much money we have, it never feels like enough to ease the anxiety. No matter how much love we receive it doesn’t mask that deep insecurity. No matter how much success we achieve, it doesn’t soothe that voice in our head that makes us feel that we are inadequate.

So, how can we flip this? How can we break the cycle of emptiness and learn how to fill ourselves up without needing more money, more love or more stuff?


1. Get Honest And Call Out Your Crap

The first part is always the most confronting.

If you want to get to the root cause of what is creating this pattern, you have to do some inner detective work.

Sit down with a pen and paper and reflect on each area of your life externally, as well as how you feel on the inside. Where in your external world do you feel you don’t have enough? What are you not getting enough of? And now, look inside. Where do you feel not enough? What parts of yourself have you judged as not being good enough?


2. What Are You Really Seeking?

Ok, now time to check in with how you want to feel.

How do you think getting this stuff will make you feel?

If you had the money, the devoted partner, the promotion, the nicer house, the slimmer body, your parents approval, how do you think you would feel? Start to get clear on what you are really seeking here. You may think you are seeking one particular thing, but ultimately you want that thing so you can feel a certain way.


3. Fill Yourself Up

Once you can see what you want to feel, this is your chance to do the work. The real work.

I am going to encourage you to stop looking to the external world to fill you up and instead learn how to do it for yourself.

How do you want to feel? Loved, appreciated, successful, happy, at peace, relaxed? And how have you been looking to the external world (eg: your job, your friends, your partner, your bank account etc…) to make you feel that way.

This might be tough initially, but begin to think about how you can start to experience those feelings now, without needing anything outside you to change. What shifts can you make to how you think, what you focus on, your lifestyle and your actions, so that you can experience more of the feelings you crave?


4. Appreciate What You Have Got

A lack mindset focuses on what it doesn’t have, while an abundance mindset focuses on what it does have.

Look at your list of feelings and notice where you are already experiencing this in your life – no matter how fleeting. Acknowledge where you are already so blessed to be experiencing this. Where else do you already have what you want? What do you see around you that you love? What wonderful people, experiences or manifestations do you already have?

People with an abundance mentality are grateful for what they have in the bank now, rather than noticing how there is not enough. They are grateful for what their partner gives, rather than always asking for more. They focus on what is perfect and beautiful about their body, rather than nit picking over their flaws.


5. Decide For It To Be Enough

What has your mind told you that you need in order to feel enough? What is the target that you have to reach for you to feel enough? The funny thing is that when I ask my clients in our sessions – ‘How would you know you were enough?’ – they can never tell me.

This is because the lack mentality will never (and I repeat never) allow you to feel enough. In fact, it will do whatever it can to ensure you feel the exact opposite.

At the end of the day, you can choose what enough is. So why not choose to let yourself and your life be enough, right now, just as it is? Drop the crazy expectations, the high standards and the unrealistic goals. Love yourself just as you are right now. Be grateful for your life, just as it is now. Let it all be enough.

This doesn’t mean you give up on your desires. But you will notice the more you love and appreciate what you have and the more you feel full and abundant now, the more you will attract opportunities, people and experience that make you feel even more of it.


Have you ever struggled with a lack mentality and feeling not enough? What is your favourite practice to shift in to an abundance mindset? Share with me below.

With love,

Connie x

11 thoughts on “Got A Case Of The Not Enough’s?: How To Create An Abundance Mindset”

  1. This post is fantastic, Connie! Great tips for pinpointing where the lack mentality is coming from. It’s such a funny thing because even when you bust through one, sometimes another one is lurking away in the background.

    1. So true Katherine! There always seems to be more layers to peel back 🙂 But I guess that is what keeps the journey interesting! x

  2. Thank you so much for this post! It’s a bit like a vicious circle, which only WE are able to escape when recognizing this bad habit and our way to think about ourselves.
    Aren’t we constantly distracted by the outer world, the people and how their act, thinking that they are in a better place. But in fact, we do not know anything about their feelings.
    Isn’t it empowering to know, that we are able to change the way we think?
    I want to start right now! 🙂
    I’m thankful so for your post, Connie! Love your blog by the way!
    Love frome Austria! 🙂

    1. Oh Cordula I can feel your beautiful energy and enthusiasm through your words! You are right, once we can catch these old patterns it is incredibly empowering as we remember that we have the ability to choose something new. Thank you for your gorgeous comment x

  3. Thanks so much for this post Connie. The concept of an abundance mindset is a new one for me, and it really resonates with me. I’ve been trying to practice more gratitude and positivity recently as a goal in itself, but I hadn’t realised that this may have helped me create an abundance mindset, as opposed to the lack mindset that I have frequently experienced throughout my life. I actually do feel much happier within myself, and have found that this happiness isn’t as influenced by external factors like it once was. Thanks for helping me put a name to this new feeling xx

    1. Awesome Claire! That lack mentality lingers around without us even realising it! It is not until we consciously choose to think abundantly that we realise how much we were thinking the opposite. So thrilled this post has helped you with this beautiful x

  4. Thank you so much for this post, Connie. As always the information I am seeking has been provided to me. I love how the universe works. 🙂
    I’ve been experience a lack of money externally and a fear of going after my passion and purpose because I fear it won’t provide for me and my family financially. Before I became a mother this didn’t matter but now I have a 4mth old son this belief has surfaced from within and is stooping me moving forward. I now understand I have to release this belief within me before anything will change. Your post was exactly what I was looking for. Thank you so much xox

  5. Thank you so much for this post, Connie! I have been thinking about this very topic (abundance mindset) for the last few weeks. I have to admit that at times in the past an abundance mindset is something I didn’t always feel comfortable with, because I didn’t want to believe in something happening and then be disappointed if it didn’t. I guess that was the definition of abundance I had in the past, and it actually made me feel more dependent on outside events that I ultimately don’t control – not the happiest space. Your post really helps clarify my more recent thoughts on it – which is that it’s really about finding the opposite of that lack mentality and nourishing an ‘enough’ mentality. Hurrah! Seeing abundance this way – noting all that you do have, really feeling a sense of faith and trust in goodness in your life being present and good things being possible for you – helps me to get clear on what it is I seek, and to take those tentative steps towards feeling those feelings now. It’s less attached to external things, and more just a way of feeling – and it’s really about faith and trust for me as well, and if you can feel those two things, I generally find a feeling of peace and self-support. 🙂

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