At the beginning of this year, I made a clear decision within my heart that I wanted to expand and diversify the way I was doing business. After four years of working alone I was craving collaboration and connection.
I feel so blessed to be able to work for myself and do what I love every single day, but there are many downsides and struggles that come with being self-employed.
My heart was craving stability. My creativity needed support.
I was yearning for more freedom and space to bring my precious creations to life without force. I wanted to take the pressure off my creativity as being the main and only source of my income. I wanted to open up new ways that money to could flow to me.
My intention and desire was clear. The decision was made. And within a few short months, several new opportunities landed right on my doorstep. I had asked, and the Universe delivered.
I stepped into 2 of them.
One has involved me heading out to some incredible companies around Sydney and coaching their staff. Taking my gifts into the corporate space has stretched and grown me in a bigger way than I could ever imagine, but it is an opportunity I feel incredibly blessed to have.
The other opportunity was to step into a collaborative business alongside an incredible sisterhood of women of coaches, wellness entrepreneurs and biz mama’s. This new business has opened the door to more abundance, freedom, connection, wealth and greater health and it has become such a powerful form of support for me.
Both of these opportunities have opened me up to a whole a new world. They have brought me into partnerships, into teams, out into the world, and have asked me to step up, show up and value myself in ways that I never have before.
I felt so grateful to have manifested opportunities that aligned so perfectly with what I asked for, and which have opened up new income streams, expanded my skills, pushed me to grow and brought me into a deeper feeling of connection in a world where running your own business can be incredibly isolating.
Running away, avoiding & closing off…
So things were flowing quite nicely until a few months ago, when something funny started to happen. I began to notice my whole energy shutting down around both of these opportunities.
Every time I would have to do something around them, I would feel tight and tense.
I noticed myself avoiding and procrastinating, making excuses and becoming defensive. I could feel my whole energy closing in and I was trying to find any reason I could to get out of these commitments.
Everything about them made me uncomfortable and triggered huge resistance.
I felt confused, as I knew these were incredible opportunities for me, but I was finding myself fighting with them and finding anything wrong with them that I could.
All I kept thinking was that it shouldn’t feel like this. I wondered – “Surely if something was right for me it would feel good right?” and “Well if it doesn’t feel good anymore, then maybe I should stop doing it.”
Why we need to open up to what makes us uncomfortable
As I explored this all further, I began to realise that there was something in this experience for me to learn.
I began to realise I needed to dive into this discomfort rather than closing off from it.
You see, the discomfort we feel is a sign that there is something in this experience for us. There is a lesson or a learning. There is something for us to see.
The discomfort is getting our attention – It is saying “Lean in closer and listen.”
Our tendency is to want to shut off from what makes us uncomfortable, rather than staying open, digging deeper and exploring ‘why’ we are feeling this way.
We have to watch out for the part of our mind that loves to make things ‘wrong’. Especially things that make us uncomfortable. Because once your mind finds enough evidence to prove that this situation is wrong, it allows you to justify avoiding it.
What we need to do in these situations, is the opposite – we needed to stay open.
I needed to explore what was happening here, rather than shutting off from that discomfort because I didn’t want to feel it.
Discomfort isn’t always a sign that something is wrong
I think one of the biggest mistakes we can make is thinking that because something makes us uncomfortable it is somehow wrong.
There is an illusion that everything should feel good all the time, and if something doesn’t feel good we shouldn’t do it.
We are programmed to think that negative experiences are bad. That things that don’t feel good are bad and we want to avoid them and eliminate them from our lives.
But here is a new thought – maybe the reason you are feeling uncomfortable is not because it is wrong, but because you are being taken outside your comfort zone.
Because sometimes discomfort is a positive sign. It is an indication you are sitting on the verge of some epic growth and expansion.
And sometimes your discomfort is actually a sign you are exactly where you are meant to be.
Facing our fears
So back to my story.
Over the past few weeks I have given myself time to work through these reactions and explore them. I have had to dive into the resistance and open up the parts of me that have wanted to shut down. Through the process I have discovered so much about myself and uncovered some powerful truths.
I began to see that my discomfort was not a sign something was wrong, but rather was an indication that I was on the verge of change, standing on the edge of expansion, about to leap into the unknown.
And these experiences were making me uncomfortable as they was shining a light on the fears, insecurities and limitations I was holding within myself but which I didn’t want to face.
So this is why we must be grateful and open to what makes us uncomfortable. We must explore what is rising to the surface. There is value in here for us
If we always avoid things that make us uncomfortable we will never have a chance to face and heal our inner limitations.
You want to see it, and you want to be able to clear it. You must dive into that.
You must realise that these experiences hold huge and powerful opportunities for growth, self-awareness and learning.
And you will see there that is a precious gift to be found in what makes you uncomfortable.
So when you get triggered, focus less on the situation, and more on yourself. Get curious. Be willing to honestly explore what is arising within you, rather than projecting it onto something outside of you.
So the next time something triggers you..
Notice the resistance, the avoidance or the discomfort. Notice how you close down.
Dive deeper into the discomfort. Explore the reaction within yourself. Journal it out.
Open up to it, further. Feel it fully. Go into it.
Honestly explore these questions within yourself;
a) Is this feeling a true, intuitive feeling that this situation isn’t right for me?
b) Or could it be a sign that some of my fears and insecurities are being triggered?
It might take some time to come to your answer, but find the courage to look within yourself and uncover your own inner truth.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this and if you can relate. Share with me in the comments if there is any situation in your own life where this has been playing out for you too.