How To Drop Your Expectations Of Others

Do you find yourself placing expectations on people in your life to act in certain ways in order to meet your needs? Many of us do this in our relationships with our partners, friends or family.

And when we feel that those people do not meet our expectations, we become upset or angry and blame them for not doing what we wanted.


Let Others Off The Hook 

In today’s video I share an example from my own life of where I had been placing pressure and expectations on my boyfriend to act in a certain way so that I could feel the way I wanted to feel in the relationship.

When he didn’t act in the way I was expecting. I initially went in to ‘attack mode’ by making him wrong. But when I took a step back, I was able to ask my self some really powerful questions to explore what was going on at a deeper level.

As I did this, I created amazing inner shifts by seeing that the issue was not actually about him, but rather it was about me not meeting my own needs and not connecting with the feelings within myself that I was seeking.


Video: How To Drop Your Expectations Of Others

If you can relate to what I am sharing I recommend you watch the video and ask yourself the following powerful questions:

1.What are my expectations? What expectations am I placing on this person? What do I think I need from them?

2. How do I want to feel? How do I think I would feel if they met those needs?

3. Can I meet those needs within myself? Can I feel the way I want to feel without needing anything from them?


I would love for you to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section below. Have you found yourself placing expectations on others? What did you discover by asking yourself these questions?

With love, 

Connie x

8 thoughts on “How To Drop Your Expectations Of Others”

  1. Hi Connie,

    It was great to watch your video on expectations, it resonated so much with me. An example of how I expect others to meet my needs is that I am currently sick with a bad flu and instead of practicing self care and taking time off work I battled on and went into the office because I had so much to do and my job is so important bla bla bla. I became really resentful when no-one at work was telling me that I should go home and that I shouldn’t be there at all. I shared this with a friend but still went in the following day when I absolutely should have stayed at home in bed. When i got to work, I was practicularly booted out of my workspace by my manager and told to go home.

    The next day I surrendered and stayed at home which is what I needed to do earlier in the week but it was like I needed someone else to tell me to stay home and look after myself. I feel much better and not only because I have been able to rest but because I met my own needs and wasn’t looking outside of myself and getting resentful.

    If I hadn’t read your post today and watched your video I don’t think I would have realised this. Thanks again.

    Emily xxx

    1. Emily, I love this example. By simply being willing to listen to yourself and meet your own needs, the expectations you were placing on others just dropped away. Well done beautiful girl x

  2. Gorgeous girl, such a beautiful video with golden insights. It’s so valuable to see what’s really going on for ourselves to heal and grow. I love your share!


  3. Hey, thank you a very lot for helping to remind me about fulfilling expectations within myself rather than projecting my own needs and expectations upon my lovely lady. I really appreciate a moment when an impartial person can break down subjective barriers in a simple, concise, heartfelt way.
    I will be able to consider this challenge in a softer, more empathetic way now, so I am grateful.

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