A few months ago I was struck by a strong desire to pull back. To withdraw my energy from this website, from my social media pages and from my work in general. These types of inner callings are quite unsettling, particularly when you run a business. I have felt quite directionless, lost and confused as to what I am doing and why.
At the time I was unable to see exactly what was unfolding, but as I have allowed the space to arise, more and more pieces of the puzzle have fallen in to place.
I can now see the power in releasing the old to make way for the new. As I have allowed the space between me and my work to grow larger, there has been an even more expansive blank canvas created for my new ideas to be written upon.
So now I walk the delicate balance between my future vision and my current reality. I will be immersing myself in building a brand new platform and vision for my work, while also flowing with where the energy wants me to go in each moment.
What I Learnt From Taking A Break
But today, out of nowhere, I feel to write. I feel to share with you some of the beautiful new realisations and awakenings that have come from my period of space and stillness. So here they are. Over the past few months, this is what I have discovered about…
Purpose
+ Since starting my business, there have been times where my work has become infused with ego. The desire to build myself into something, to receive recognition, to attract attention and to appear significant has overtaken the love for what I do. But as I have let that all fall away, what I now feel in my work is a deep, divine and all encompassing desire to serve my spiritual purpose. My purpose is to teach, guide, empower and inspire. I am here to spread messages, write words, speak wisdom and bring together people who are ready to wake up.
+ Purpose is not something you find. It is given to you. You receive it from that deeper part of you. It bubbles up within you and overcomes you with such full force that you cannot say no. It is free from agenda, attachment and ego. It is pure inspiration. It is the pull of soul. It is the divine part of you beckoning, calling, yearning for you to fulfil the mission that you were put on this earth to complete.
+ Your value, contribution or worth does not come from what you do. It is instead a direct reflection of the person you are being in each moment. The quality of your energy. When you give yourself permission to do less, you allow for a new measure of self-worth to arise.
Control vs Surrender
+ Relinquish all control. Control is an ego pattern that allows it to feel safe and secure in the unknown. It is a false sense of security. It is a waste of time. Instead find the courage to breathe into your fear, be with it and embrace it, rather than running back in to the arms of your comforting control pattern.
+ Things are not always going to make sense. A few weeks ago I had felt that I wanted to take this website down. I had no desire to write or share on this space. But today, I sat down at my desk and a wave of energy took me over. I opened up a blank document and within 20 minutes I had written this whole post. The world just flowed out at full force and the inspiration overtook me. I have learnt to trust that feeling. I am not sure why I feel to write again – to me it doesn’t make sense – but I am realising that is the whole point.
+ This new way of living requires a deep surrender to a force that lies within you. You must let that energy overcome you. Become you. Guide you. When you walk on this new path, you will not be using your eyes, your mind, or your memories, you will be guided from within.
Being guided from within
+ The only way to live is from the inside-out. Clarity is born from that still space inside of you. If you ever feel lost, confused, or uncertain you are most likely looking to your mind or your external circumstances for answers. They cannot be found there. You must stop, close your eyes, tune inwards and feel. Develop an intimate relationship with your inner guidance. If you are unsure how to do this, my meditation album may help.
+ You have to work with the energy and flow. There are times to move forward and their a times to pull back. There are time to create and their are times to destroy. Their are times to let go and their are times to hold on. There are times to take action and their are times to just be. Make it your priority to pay attention to the energy and see if you can work in with it.
+ Receive your action steps. I am working to no longer sit down and map out my to do list. But rather to tune inwards and ask “What is the next step for me to take to fulfil my spiritual mission and divine purpose?” My only job is to receive those steps, and act on them.
Living in the unknown
+ Living in the unknown is like walking blindfolded. You are forced to ditch your plan, and live squarely in the present moment, simply following the feelings that arise. Life will throw you curveballs and it is your work to not try and eliminate them, but dance with them.
+ Trust is the cornerstone of the unknown. When you can no longer find certainty in the external world, you are forced to search for that feeling in a new place. You will find it within. You will find it in the deep connection you have with your inner voice. That voice that is guiding you through the darkness and towards the light.
+ Flexibility is also key here. Things can change in an instant. What felt right a week ago, may feel totally misaligned today and we need to give ourselves permission for that to be ok. Ditch your plan and let each page of the story be written how it needs to be in each moment.
A new chapter is coming
Last week, I met with my incredible web designer and we mapped out the vision for the new conniechapman.com website. What is now arising in my work, is beyond my wildest dreams. I feel like I have found my thing. My place in the world. The true purpose behind my work.
It feels real and authentic. It feels right at every level of my being. It is a vision that I am not creating myself but rather it is one that has been given to me and I am simply opening up to let it flow through me and take form in the world.
There is a big process ahead of me as I work to bring these new ideas, which have been brewing within me for the past 6 months, out in to the world. I will be sharing snippets and pieces of my new creations over the coming months, and I cannot wait until I am finally able to reveal this new chapter to you. It will revolutionise the way you approach your ‘self-work’ and wake you up to a brand new way of living your life.
In The Meantime:
1) I have just launched my 2015 Coaching Packages. My 1:1 coaching has been booked out this year and so I am now opening up my calendar for a new wave of gorgeous souls ready to take their life to the next level in 2015. Click here to find out more.
2) I have decided to run one last round of The 90 Day Transformation Project before my new website launches. This will be the last time this project will run and your final opportunity to become a part of this life-changing program. We will kick off on January 31st 2015 so pencil that date in your diaries.
3) I will continue to share wisdom, guidance and my thoughts and feelings on this website as I feel. I can’t guarantee my posts will be regular or consistent. I am trusting what I feel here. But I want to share this incredible new journey with you as I embark on it, as this truly is all for you.
With love,
Connie x
Just loved this Connie: “Your value, contribution or worth does not come from what you do. It is instead a direct reflection of the person you are being in each moment. The quality of your energy. When you give yourself permission to do less, you allow for a new measure of self-worth to arise.”
So beautifully said.
Thank you Katie, those words just flowed out and when I read them back, I too was like “whoa!” xx
I am so glad you are feeling the desire to write again Connie as your words are always a source of inspiration. My biggest takeaway from your 90DTP has been to let go of all expectations (which are simply my perception of what others expect) and to ask myself everyday what I most want to do, be and enjoy. It has been so freeing to let go of everything else and just live in tune with myself xox
I love that Jo. There is so much freedom in following what we feel on the inside and not worrying about how it will be perceived on the outside xx
Thank you for sharing this post Connie! I have felt the same way soo many times this year, wanting to quit, shut everything down and stop. I’ve been so confused, lost and aimless that I was just desperately seeking answers. I now realize that all can really do is focus on who I am being and what my energy is moment by moment. I always find that when times get tough, go within, that is your anchor. The madness and confusion is just a sign that you need to go within and nurture your relationship with yourself and inner guidance. Sending you lots of love and good energy for you new vision! xx
Beautifully put Kajal. That has been my exact experience xx
Connie, this is just so stunning. Your writing hits. Really, hits.
I am so excited for you and I can’t wait to witness the rebirth of this gorgeous online space.
xx
Thank you Fontaine. It feels so good to be writing again. I am exciting to share the new chapter with you too 🙂 xx
Beautiful post Connie. So much of this resonates with me. I have felt challenged over the past few days with what I ‘should’ be working on, and what actually feels right, right now.
2015 is completely blank for me- I’ve resigned from my job, recently moved to a new state and everything feels fresh, but equally terrifying. That fear has let control creep back in- thank you so much for your poignant reminder of surrender x
Oh Erin, huge changes for you! It is so easy to want to fill the space with something and when there is ‘nothing’ we feel we must be doing something. But instead we must just stay in the present and allow the next step to arise in each moment xx
So powerful to read this post Connie. The way you state your purpose; the way you share the journey you’ve been on the last six months. As always your writing is so compelling.
I’m so excited to see what is coming for you, beautiful lady. I have no doubt it will be incredible xox
Thank you Laura. It has been a big year of deep inner transformative work and I am so excited to now ‘bring it out’ in to the world. Sending you love xx
Connie I really loved this post. I too was caught up in the egoistic side of running my business and writing on my blog. I realised that I needed to get back in touch with my WHY and I wrote it down and put it right above my computer on my desk to remind me.
This is beautiful girl. I look forward to seeing more of what this space creates for you. No doubt it will be spectacular. Sending you love xx
Hi Nic, oh it is so easy isn’t it!! Remembering the WHY is so important and I love the idea of sticking it somewhere to see it as a constant reminder xx
A beautifully written piece Connie. I totally empathise with everything you say. I think when you’re self-employed, it’s easy to feel torn in terms of how to focus one’s energy- do I do what makes ‘commercial’ sense who what my heart is telling me? And of course the latter is always going to give the ego a big tantrum as it involves surrender and trusting the process – the one very thing the ego can’t bear! I recently made a decision to reduce my client intake – scary as anything as it’s how I make my core income- and focus on writing my book. Even then I could see ego getting in the way- trying to shape and control how the book’s written and thinking in terms of what would ‘sell’ rather than letting the magic of the creative process enfold. I’m excited to see what will enfold for you over the next six months, and keep following the inner guidance within! Lots of Love, Beth x
It is such a tricky balance Beth and I complete agree with everything you are saying. Following what we feel, while ensuring we are still running our business in an effective and lucrative way is a super tricky balance. But I love you have taken your attention away from coaching to dedicate more energy to the birth of your book. Creating space for what we truly love is the most powerful thing we can do xx
Connie, this post was so powerful and inspiring. Thank you for your honesty and for your commitment to your spiritual purpose.
I’m really looking forward to seeing your new chapter unfold! x
Thank you Rachael, I look forward to sharing it all with you! xx
Loved this post, Connie! Read it twice actually. From what you’re saying in your post, it sounds like you’re feet are in the current phase you are in and then you can feel you’re also heading into a brand new phase as well. I have found that being in the middle of two phases can be confusing, since it’s living in the unknown, but our energy and vision expands in ways we didn’t think possible when we just trust what is happening and listen to our heart.
P.S. This post can resonate with many of us. Especially as 2015 is approaching! I finding myself reflecting a lot during this time.
Enjoy the Holidays 🙂
You are exactly right Priyanka. I had felt I wanted to withdraw my energy and attention from the old forms of my work and so I took a massive break, but in doing so I really missed writing, creating content and connecting through my work. So I realise there is a balance now between maintaining my work in it’s old forms and building my new vision. It is definitely challenging, but it is what feels right at the moment 🙂 Thank you for all your ongoing support xx
Yes, sometimes a balance is required. Of course, I love your posts! 🙂
Hey Connie,
You nailed it with this gem – “Since starting my business, there have been times where my work has become infused with ego. The desire to build myself into something, to receive recognition, to attract attention and to appear significant has overtaken the love for what I do. But as I have let that all fall away, what I now feel in my work is a deep, divine and all encompassing desire to serve my spiritual purpose.”
I think the problem with all who have a personal brand (like me), is that we want to appear like we know what the hell we’re doing 100% of the time. I’m not sure if you’re familiar with Buffer (social media company with a good blog), but they’re always so humble about what they know. They always drive it home that they’re learning every day too and sometimes makes mistakes, and they’re a pretty freakin’ big company.
Two cents = given!
x
Connie that post was wonderful raw AUTHENTIC! I FELT it.. Maybe it rings true to my own journey right NOW but i think u r wonderful! Keep it up! Xxx