For months I have had a burning desire bubbling within me. I had seen visions of it flash across my mind and strong inner impulses to take action towards it.
It was a desire speak. A yearning to speak to groups of beautiful women. To run gorgeous, soulful workshops. To bring the passion-fuelled inspiration within me, out. Out in to the world so I can share it.
But the problem has been that for as long as I can remember I have had a paralysing fear of being the centre of attention and speaking to groups. I avoid public speaking at all costs. It literally terrifies me.
And this is where my inner struggle (which mind you has been playing out for most of this year) began. On one hand there was an incredibly strong desire, but on the other there were the voices of my mind, telling me awful stories of failure and rejection and filling me with fear.
So, how did I manage to overcome this fear and take brave steps forward to follow what my heart was calling me towards? Today, I want to share my powerful process with you.
1. Make A New Choice
For months I let that fear stop me, but one day I had to get honest with myself and realise I was choosing to let it stop me. And so to move beyond it, I had to make a new choice.
So, I decided to shift my perspective. I decided to open up to the possibility of running these events.
I decided to follow what my heart was saying, even though the fear voice was still there. I decided to stop letting that stop me. So, I went ahead any organised my event. The fear kept showing up and telling me to stop, but I just kept following through and putting one foot in front of the other. And then, last Friday I ran my first beautiful workshop on Living a Heart-Driven Life.
It wasn’t until I listened to the audio recording of the event, that I really began to grasp what I had done. I had sat in front of a group of women, with all of their beautiful eyes on me, and I spoke authentically and powerfully from my heart, for 2 hours – with no notes.
I have no idea how I did it.
And that is what happens when you live from your heart. Love takes over.
2. Let The Fear Be There
When the fear arises, just let it be there. We do not need to fight with it, resist it or try to make it go away. If what you are about to do takes you out of our comfort zone, it is likely that the fear is going to linger for a little while. So, just accept it.
Embrace your fear. Look at it front on. See it for what it is. It is just some yucky feeling, negative thoughts that are trying to protect you and keep them small. You don’t have to believe them.
Just because you feel fear, doesn’t mean anything has gone wrong. In fact it is the opposite. This is a great sign!
Allow the fear to be there and just keep moving forward.
3. Call In Love
Fear is going to stack up a pretty good case. It will be very convincing in telling you all of the reasons why you can’t do something. It is sneaky, cheeky and oh so cunning. But we must remember that we have a choice whether or not we are going to believe it.
We can either choose to let the fear run the show, or we can choose something else. We can see the situation through a new perspective.
When we choose to see a situation with love, we invite in a more gentle, supportive and caring voice. We open up to our inner cheerleader and we let her empowering words flood our mind. We feel her love. We hear her guidance and we choose to listen to that over our limiting fearful stories.
Before my event, I kept tuning myself in by saying supportive words to myself over and over. “You can do this. I believe in you. You’ve got this Connie. Just show up and speak from your heart, beautiful. That’s all you need to do. I know you can do this”
4. Embody Your Heart Energy
The energy of the heart is open, loving, whole and complete. It lacks nothing and feels no fear of losing anything. It has no need to self protect, to play small or hide. it feels safe being seen, expressing itself and shining it’s light.
When we drop in to our heart we see the world in a new way. We embody that loving energy and allow it to guide us moment by moment.
When I stepped up on to the stage at my event, I let go of worrying about what anyone thought or if I was going to make a mistake. I simply chose to open my heart and make the message I had to share with these women more important than any of my own self-centred thinking.
As I embodied the energy of my heart space, the thoughts in my mind slowly began to fall away. Sometimes that is all that is required. Drop in to your heart and the rest will take care of itself.
5. Stay In The Present Moment
Our mind loves to future trip and send us in to tailspins of anxiety over all of the things that could potentially go wrong in the future. Worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet (and may never happen) is not only a waste of your precious energy but it will only strengthen the power fear has in this situation.
In the days leading up to my event, I had to remain incredibly present. I didn’t think about the event. I just kept showing up for each moment of my life.
And if a fearful thought suddenly rushed in, I reassured myself. “Just trust Connie. Everything will be fine. If ___ happens, you will deal with it then. Just bring your attention back to right now. Right now, you are completely safe and all is well. Just be here”
And then when the event came, I literally took it moment by moment. I didn’t get ahead of myself. I didn’t think about anything except where I was and what needed to be done in that moment.
6. Be Willing To Be Vulnerable
Fear will try to protect us at all costs from looking silly, being rejected or making a mistake. So, it will train us to avoid situations where there is the potential risk of that happening. But when we build walls around our heart and hide ourselves away we miss out on so many precious and beautiful experiences in life.
In the days leading up to my event, my head was telling me I needed to plan what I was going to say, and to rehearse my words. It didn’t want me to forget a key point, fumble my words or be stuck with nothing to say at all. After all I had 2 hours of content to cover!
But on the day of the event my heart said “Stop!” I literally heard the words “All you need to do is just show up and speak from your heart. It doesn’t matter what you say. What matters is the space you come from when you say it”
And that is what I did. I threw out my notes. On the day of the event, I didn’t even think about my content. And when it came to the event, I just showed up with love in my heart and allowed the words to flow through me.
Was it terrifying? Yes. But was it one of the most powerful conversations I have ever shared in my life? Abso-freakin-lutely!
Are You Ready To Live From Your Heart?
In the Live a Heart-Driven Life Workshop I dive deeper in to all of these principles and give you practical ways to live them in your own life.
And guess what? You can grab your very own copy of the 2 hour audio recording of the event!
The heart-driven life is a way of living filled with freedom, empowerment and limitless possibilities. It is time to choose love over fear.
The workshop includes:
- My story of how I moved from a life of fear and limitation to living what I love everyday
- The 6 key principles to Living a Heart-Driven Life
- How to move beyond the fear-based blocks that stop you
- 6 x journalling exercises
- 2 x meditations
- PLUS you also get the Live a Heart-Driven Life Workbook
You can return to the principles in this workshop + workbook anytime you need a heart-tune up. Let’s make 2014 the year that you say No to fear and Yes to love. Grab your copy here
What is the biggest fear you have overcome, and how did you do it? Share with me below.
8 thoughts on “How I Overcame My Biggest Fear (+ How You Can Too)”
I am so incredibly proud of you, honey. As my coach, you are my biggest inspiration & the event, then reading this beautiful post, has blown me away. I have the same fears of being centre of attention & speaking to a group but you’ve shown me that I can overcome it if I desire to. Thank you.
As I work with you one on one, I wasn’t expecting so much ‘big stuff’ to come up for me in the workshop on Friday, but it did. Your heart-driven words & beautiful journaling exercises were perfect & so powerful! I can’t wait for our next coaching session to go deeper on what came up for me & I’m looking forward to more workshops in 2014! xoxo
Thank you beautiful. It was so awesome to share the evening with you! I am so thrilled to gained so much from the workshop and I am super excited about the beautiful heart-driven desires you discovered 🙂
Thank you for being YOU and for such a powerful evening lovely. You held the space for us so beautifully. It was obvious you were speaking from your heart and was so beautiful to watch. I’ve been seeing visions of myself talking on stage one day soon, but my ego keeps getting in the way with negative and destructive thoughts. Thank you for showing us how possible it is to break through those fears.
I love how you trusted and that you didn’t have notes. The problem is I always over prepare, even for the yoga classes I teach. I know I need to be more in my heart space and trust that I have everything within me.
You are such an inspiration beautiful lady and I look forward to seeing you shine even more in 2014!
Thanks again for a powerful evening xxx
Thank you so much for coming Corona. Yes, the trusting part is BIG but from my experience when we let go of planning we allow a whole other force to step in and take over, Maybe start playing around with planning less for your yoga classes and see what happens 🙂 Big hugs x
That’s so wonderful!
Thank you Ruth x
You are incredibly awesome!! I have the
same fears and I work at them as much as I possibly can. I’ve had a period of being a bit off-course and coming a cross your blog and tips has been a major help for me to get back on my path again. Thank you!! 🙂
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