Most of us place more power in the attainment of an external goal, than we do in the beauty of the process we go through to get there.
We focus more on the destination we want to arrive at, rather than the growth that happens along the way.
It is all about the outer world, rather than the inner experience.
We cannot see the precious value and the hidden gems that lay along our journey. We are so hell bent on the destination that we miss them.
We don’t know how to love, appreciate and revel in the process we are moving through. We just want to get out of the discomfort and onto the good stuff.
We don’t know how to be happy, without what we want. So much of our fulfilment in life is tied up in the attainment of our desires.
And so sometimes what you ‘want’ is delayed so you can learn this precious and divine lesson.
Why our desires are delayed
There have been many times in my life where I felt like what I wanted was delayed.
It felt like I was endlessly working towards certain destinations, but they always seemed out of reach, sitting in the future, off in the distance, but never here.
Over the years, I have stopped fighting this experience and labelling it as bad or wrong, but rather I have been using it to gain insight into myself and how I am living.
Sometimes there are blessings to be found when your desires don’t manifest.
You are forced to scratch the surface. To look a little deeper. To search for what you are wanting in a different place.
The delays in the attainment of what you want externally will help you shift your focus off the striving, and back to you.
When what you want doesn’t come, or doesn’t arrive at the time or in the way you had wanted, it makes you stop. It makes you reflect.
It helps you drop your ‘need’ for the external world to go a certain way and to instead learn to create happiness, gratitude and a deep love for where you are, even when all the stuff you want isn’t here.
Here is what I have discovered;
#01: Sometimes the delays occur because you are in preparation
When I was 20, I had such a deep yearning to run my own business and pursue my passion for coaching, but I was still in my day job and couldn’t see a way out.
All I wanted to do was get out of my job, but I was in a transition.
All I wanted was to rush through that transition and get to my destination.
But I can see now why it took me so long.
I can see why it took me 9 years from the moment I originally felt to get into coaching at age 20, to finally starting my training at 29.
Because I was preparing.
I was growing, evolving and rising to be the woman I needed to be to teach this work.
Those 9 years of deep inner work, expansion and transformation were absolutely necessary.
Because sometimes we aren’t yet ready to receive what we truly want.
There have been many times I have used my strong will and manifestation skills to call in something I want, but because I was forcing it, it came to soon.
And then what happened?
I couldn’t hold onto it.
I couldn’t fully receive it.
It was too big for me in that moment.
And I lost it.
In hindsight I can truly see the power of ‘waiting’.
The beauty of patience.
The importance of trust.
If something you desire isn’t here yet it’s not because you’re a failure or are somehow unworthy.
You are simply just in preparation. What you are calling in is so big, so magnificent, and so amazing that your higher self wants to ensure you are fully ready to receive it when it comes.
And what you’re interpreting as ‘delay’ is actually a divine process of preparation.
So stop trying to rush ahead, and just keep committing to your inner growth so you are fully ready when what you desire arrives.
#02: Sometimes the delays come to force you to look within
Relationships have been a big place where I sought out love. I have often felt that not being in a relationship meant there was something wrong with me.
I have needed the attention of a man, to feel attractive.
I have needed his words, to feel validated.
I have needed his affection, to feel desired.
I have needed his presence, to feel supported.
I have needed his love, to feel loveable.
And so when that attention, affection or love has not been there, I have initially felt anxious. All my insecurities have arisen. I noticed a niggling sense of incompleteness.
But then, I was guided to look a little deeper.
I stopped searching, seeking and waiting for him, and I started looking for what I was wanting within myself.
And I realised it was me that was the source of it all.
Do this work. Take this journey back to yourself. So that when your partner does arrive, they will simply reflect and mirror back the love you already feel within.
So if your man (or woman) is not here yet, be grateful. You have a precious opportunity to begin to take a new, unchartered journey. A journey into yourself. A journey into your own love.
Don’t discount this journey. There is so much value in it.
And so perhaps that person’s presence in your life is being delayed. Perhaps you are being made to wait. And maybe this is all happening for a reason.
Because, I honestly feel, truly there are no delays, only preparation periods.
And you are never in absence of what you want. You are simply just looking in the wrong places.
With love,
Connie x
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Love this Connie 🙂 x
Yes, this is true. In so many way, this is true. Thanks Connie!
I find myself in a familiar situation you describe, what I am learning is to soften into more of myself. Sometimes, we are ‘forced’ to prepare for what we’ve asked by really getting serious with ourselves if and why we in fact do want it and how can I feel my way through the discomfort as it shows me that in the discomfort there is the space for me to be kinder, gentler and more loving to myself. Thank you for your words, Connie! x
Great article. I get very frustrated with waiting sometimes but I try to tell myself that I’m getting ready for what I want. This is a good reminder. Thank you. 🙂