13 Lessons On Letting Go (And Making More Room For What You Love)

I have lost count of how many times over the past few months that I have written to you about creating space, stepping back and letting go. It has definitely been a recurring theme for me.

I have been wondering for a while what all of this letting go has been about, and it is only now that I am beginning to get clearer.

As I have navigated this journey through it’s many twists and turns over the past year, I have gained some incredible insights into what the process of letting go is all about, while also learning how to move through it with an open and surrendered heart.

Today I am sharing 13 lessons on letting go that I hope will support you to thrive (rather than struggle) through this process and release the old with ease and grace so you can make space in your life for more of what you truly love.


13 Lessons on Letting Go (And Making More Room For What You Love)


1) It’s all about space

Letting go is simply a process of creating space. As you grow and expand it is natural to then shed the old in order to make room for the new. This intricate, and often divinely inspired process, is something to be deeply respected and honoured. It is part of life’s cycles of death and birth and beginnings and endings. It cannot be resisted, and must instead be embraced as a necessary component of your personal transformation.


2) As within, so without

The clearing out, shedding and releasing process can unfold both internally and externally. Often it is sparked by some form of internal process as you start to re-define old belief systems, perceptions of yourself, judgments, past pains, emotions and habits. These inner shifts will serve as catalysts for the external changes that consequently unfold.


If you have been on any form of ‘inner work’ journey, do not be surprised if suddenly things in your world start to change too. This change is not happening ‘to you’ – you are creating it, and on some level you asked for it.


3) Witness your attachments

Fear will only arise through this process if you hold attachments or needs around a certain person or circumstance. If your happiness, identity, sense of self-worth, value and security is tied up in these external circumstances, you will experience pain, struggle and suffering if they are taken away. As these patterns get triggered, observe these attachments and notice what feelings arise in you.


4) Make room for what is truly right for you

If your life is full and busy with ‘your plans’ there is no room for Universal guidance. And if your mind is set on the ideas of what ‘you’ think is right for you, there is no room for your heart’s whispers. There needs to be space and stillness for you to hear and feel and receive what is truly right for you.


If you are not making room for what is right for your heart and soul, the Universe will manifest circumstances to unfold to ensure that you are. If you are not creating room, it may be created for you.


5) Embrace your emotions as they rise to the surface

It is natural to feel intense emotions as you let go of people or circumstances that feel incredibly important to you. You are allowed to grieve, to cry and to scream, so give yourself full permission to do so. Embrace your emotions without judgment and allow the energies to wash over you. Breathe into them, feel them, journal about them and talk to people. Embrace them fully, but don’t wallow in them.


6) Let the energy withdraw

Pay attention to the sensation of ‘energy withdrawing’ and don’t ignore it when this happens. For me, it feels like the energy is being pulled out of something. I feel less drawn to it and inspired by it. It doesn’t contain the same level of joy. My own energy and enthusiasm around it weakens and wavers. This is usually my indicator that some letting go is happening or will soon be happening. If the energy shifts around something you used to love, then allow it to. Be aware of forcing something or ‘trying’ to get motivated again, as this will cause you to resist what is unfolding.


7) Practise sacred surrender

Letting go facilitates the burning up of your fear-driven egoic self so that you can come into closer connection with your infinite, whole, love-filled spirit. It is the ultimate surrender. The highest form of trust. The greatest catalyst for awakening. If something has been taken from your life or feels like it is falling apart, please let it. Trust that this is all part of you having the room to hear new insights and receive new steps forward.


Letting go is part of your spiritual evolution. By releasing all of the attachments to circumstances or people that hold power over you, you are being guided to reconnect with the power that lies within you.


8) Look out for deadends and roadblocks

The more you see that something is falling apart or withdrawing, the more you may struggle to keep it. You may cling, hold on tighter and work harder at it. Notice the energy. If it is meant to work it will flow, and doors will open. If it is not, then they won’t. You will hit dead ends and brick walls. And if you feel like fighting it initially, then allow yourself to do that. But soon you will grow tired of this, as it will feel like swimming upstream.


9) Let the path be revealed moment by moment

This is present moment living as it’s best. Letting go requires you to place your trust and faith in what you cannot yet see. All you must do is take whatever one step (no matter how small) presents itself in that moment. As you take that step the next one will appear. That is your only work right now.


10) Trust that your life is upgrading

Life is not punishing you by taking something from you. It is bringing you exactly what you need to experience to amplify your growth, awaken your consciousness, and heal your old wounds. You are upgrading to the next level in your life. The new circumstances you manifest are all being orchestrated so that you can experience greater amounts of love, abundance, happiness and freedom.


Please know that anytime you are letting go, you are just making room for something even more magnificent to flow into your life. Don’t just grieve what you are losing, but get excited about what is coming.


11) Centre yourself in the unknown

Your struggle with letting go will be amplified by any fear you hold about the unknown, or uncertainty. You will feel out of control. You will no longer be able to plan. You will not know what the future holds. You will begin to see with confronting clarity, just how much you rely on your external circumstances (and your ability to control them) to make you feel safe. This is where you must begin to find your certainty and stability within.


12) Access your body wisdom

The more that you try to understand or ‘make sense’ of what is unfolding, the more confused you will become. You will find the most peace – not in being able to analyse or understand the process – but in your ability to become present, get still and tune in to your body to feel. All your answers will arise from a deeper space within you, and your body will communicate this wisdom through your sensations, feelings and energy.


Check in with your body as you feel into what is next for you. Notice what makes your body soften, expand and lighten. Notice what makes you contract and tighten. Let it guide you to what you need to release and what new actions steps you are being called to take.


13) Open your mind to magic

Perhaps what is coming lays outside the scope of what you could ever imagine is possible for you. So don’t limit your new beginnings. Let them be fresh, unfamiliar and foreign. Let them astound you with how perfectly they match what you have been asking for all along. What if what was coming was better than anything you have ever conceived? Get excited, because I have a feeling it is.


A little update from me: Right now, I am simply being asked to let go of a lot and make space. I am not sure what for as yet, but I know it is going to be good. I am simply being told that there is more love, abundance, joy and expansion available for me and I simply have to make space to receive it. So that is what I am doing.


Thank you for your endless love and support.

Connie x

19 thoughts on “13 Lessons On Letting Go (And Making More Room For What You Love)”

  1. Mademoiselle Deva

    I hope you will find happiness and love ❤️ I admired you through all these years, your work, your engagement and your passion. I’m sure that this new challenge is the best road for you now. I loved your blog from day one so I’m super happy that you will keep on writing! You are a pure inspiration ❤️

    1. Connie Chapman

      Oh darling woman you have been there with me right from the start! Thank you for your endless love and support x

  2. Your courage to listen and follow divine guidance is inspiring Connie. You’re a living reminder to step back from the busyness of always pushing forward and begin surrendering and being present in what is- and I need this reminder often 🙂 I look forward to seeing where this journey takes you.

    1. Connie Chapman

      Thank you Kirstin, it truly does take courage and I aim to be as transparent about it as possible because it is not always the easiest path. I think we all need the reminder to step back and listen sometimes – I know I do. I am glad this message was supportive for you too 🙂 x

    1. Connie Chapman

      Yep I think lots of us are feeling it. I know you have recently made some changes too beautiful and I am excited to see what new creations are born from this space xx

  3. Oh Connie, I love this post and I am so blessed that I have you in my life not only through your words, but through your smiling face and supportive way when we meet for 1:1 time….

    You have helped me see that the “letting go process” is beautiful and you’re right, it just leads to more magnificent things and flow! I am finally FLOWING!!!

    I’m excited for your new journey and you’re an inspiration girl!


  4. For me now, letting go is all about clearing clutter and stuff. It feels so liberating to need less stuff and to clear space in such visible way. It feels light… Can’t stop myself right now. Just when I brought an extra couple of bags to the charity shop, I keep on searching in my closets and cupboards for other stuff I don’t need anymore… Feels so much better to live with less! Simultaneous doing some inner work too off course! Everything evolves naturally and the meaning of all of this obsessive clearing out will be revealed to me any time soon… Love from Isabel xo

    1. Connie Chapman

      Isabel I often find that creating that external space, but clearing clutter actually really helps create inner space. It creates a tangible shift within. As you simplify your life, it helps simplify your thoughts, and as that happens your inner guidance can speak more loudly and clearly! Clearing out stuff can be challenging so it is beautiful you followed the inspiration to do it xx

  5. Another beautiful article, Connie! I can’t tell you how much I needed to read this. It coincides perfectly with the changes happening in my own life. I’m letting go of a lot right now and it feels very unsettling. But I know I can’t resist the process. Happy to see you’re going with the flow and excited to see your new vision and website unfold, Connie 🙂

    With Love,

    1. Connie Chapman

      Priyanka, the letting go process can be so scary and so it is really comforting to know that other people are going through the same thing. That is why I love sharing my journey – the ups and downs and highs and lows. All of it. But as you know, every time you let go, you are only making room for something new and ah-mazing to take its place. I look forward to hearing about what new opportunities are coming for you! x

  6. Words of wisdom and enlightenment as always, Connie! I am *so* pleased you are continuing with Awaken Radio – it is an amazing resource for which I am truly grateful as I too continue on my journey of inner exploration and discovery, in business and life.

    1. Connie Chapman

      Louisa I always felt that Awaken Radio was the one thing I could never let go of. It was born from such a pure space of inspiration and it brings me so much happiness! I love that these conversations have been so supportive for you 🙂 xx

  7. Hi Connie,
    It would be silly to just simply admire your post! Your all the post have been so amazing and full of life that each of of us is really feeling so! It has left an endelible impact on many of thought process and transformed in acceptable and tangible manner for the good! “Letting go someone from life” was one of the best which delivered at a time I was needing it most during the phases which I would hate to remember!
    Keep sending such lively posts!
    With love

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