I think we all yearn to feel like a success in our life. I know I do. I have always been a high achiever and big dreamer. I have always stretched myself to go for more and often placed quite high expectations upon myself.
In many ways I love this quality in myself as it means I am always expanding, growing and evolving. But there can also be a downside to this tendency.
The dark side of being a high achiever is that I use the achievement of goals and intentions as my marker of success. If I hit my target, then I feel good about myself, and if I don’t then in comes the inner critic to tell me how much of a failure I am.
It sounds pretty black and white. And it is. But I have a feeling I am not alone on this.
We live in a very outcome driven society where most career paths these days contain targets we have to hit. Our success is measured against what we do and achieve, and we are rewarded when we can go that extra mile to get the intended result.
But what price does this pay on us emotionally, mentally and energetically?
Well, it means that our feeling of self worth and value rests delicately on factors that lay outside of us. Factors that feel outside our control, and that we do our very best to obtain control of. All of this can fill us with anxiety, insecurity and worry.
So, is there another way?
Video: Re-Define How You Measure Success
In today’s video I share a realisation I had after noticing the anxiety that arose in me when I began striving for a goal I wanted to reach. I realised that there was another way to experience success that didn’t require me to wait until a goal was achieved for me to feel good about myself.
To recap they key points from this video:
1. What you are really after is the feeling of success. You desire to feel good about yourself, to feel proud and to receive acknowledgment and praise.
2. You are in charge of how you measure success. You can decide that you will only feel that way when a target is reached, or you can choose to start to feel that way now.
3. Take time each day to acknowledge your achievements. Journal and reflect on what you feel proud of from the day. Do things to your highest standard, so you feel good about them. Recognise yourself for all that you do.
4. Make success about the process, rather than an outcome. What if you measured your success based on the level of joy you experienced along the way?
Would you love some support to release your anxiety around external success and achievement? In my 1:1 coaching programs you will work closely with me and receive practical and personalised guidance.
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Do you ever feel like a failure because of the expectations you place on yourself to meet certain goals? What can you start to take on board from this video to support you to feel like a success now? Share with me in the comments.