My 9 Doorways to Stillness (& How To Discover Yours)

Today I am exploring the question “What makes me come alive?” as part of the Skinny Dip Society blog tour curated by the beautiful Katie Den Ouden, where 20 women come together to share how they awaken their most wild, free and alive self.

I decided to dive deep in to this question, and as I did, I realised I feel the most wild, free and completely alive when I am present, deeply connected to my inner self and fully embodying my expansive, soulful essence.

It is not when I am striving, running errands, pushing through my to do list or keeping myself busy with goodness knows what. But when I let all that go. In the moments where I can simply be.

Rather, I feel alive when I can sidestep my mind and drop below it’s incessant chatter. When I connect with that deep pool of serenity within. When I create enough space for my wild, free, playful self to be heard and felt. That is where life becomes delicious.


Why Stillness Makes Me Come Alive

In the new home that I recently moved into I have a big beautiful balcony with floor to ceiling doors that expand the full width of the balcony. Some days, I sit on my couch with those doors wide open, looking outside in to the sky.

I have a movie theatre of nature.

The other day I sat for 3 hours – yes 3 hours, just watching the clouds. I watched them float across the sky at various speeds, changing shapes as they went and deepening in colour as the afternoon wore on. I could hear my mind chattering away at me, telling me that there were things to be done. But I felt so content in that moment that I could not bring myself to get up.

As I sat there watching the changing sky, I noticed my whole body soften and sink deeper in to the couch. I felt myself let go, as pockets of tension were gently released. I noticed my cheeks begin to glow with a light warmth and I could not help but smile at the beauty of what I was witnessing.

To me, this is being alive. This is freedom. This is bliss.

It is the moments where we let ourselves just be, that we create the inner space that allows us to drop deeper within ourselves, and drop deeper within this moment. Life leaps into another dimension. There is a profound reverence for the tiniest of details that you would otherwise skip over.

These are literally my happiest moments because it is in these moments that I am able to reconnect with myself, my inner bering and the energy of my spirit that is ever present within me. It becomes a tangible and palpable presence that I can literally taste. It is so close.

In those moments I can sidestep my mind and transcend whatever storyline is unfolding in my world. The drama’s, happenings and challenges around me cease to make the same impact. My inner world is not ruffled by their presence. Rather I have the ability to watch them, see them, observe them and then either let them go, or respond in a conscious and productive way.

In the pursuit to live a big, glamorous life it can be incredibly easy to sweep over the one most precious gift that is sitting within, and which is actually the essence of everything you seek.

I can run through my life at a million miles an hour and forget that it is there, but all it takes is a moment of stillness to remember again. That is how I reconnect.


The Many Doorways To Stillness

Stillness is not to be mistaken for doing nothing, but rather it is the inner stillness that is important. That inner spaciousness. That lightness. That depth. A connection to feeling, to sensation and to the moment.

Stillness is the freedom from the frenetic chatter of the mind. It is the space that is created in it’s absence. And from this space, naturally rises bliss. It cannot be helped. Bliss is an inevitable by-product of reconnecting with your true essence.

There are many doorways to stillness. Creating this beautiful inner space and deep connection to your inner presence is not something that requires hours of meditation. You can find your entry point through anything that allows you to sidestep your mind. Anything that takes your breath away and  causes you to pause and stop in reverence to take it all in. Something that brings you so much joy that you cannot get a whiff of worry.

Here are what drops me in to that space.


My Doorways To Stillness

1. Painting: I become so present to the process and the creative energy moving through me that everything else falls away.

2. Writing: I love it when I just hold my pen above the page, or fingers above the keyboard and the words write just themselves.

3. Dance: I let the energy that stirs within me guide my body to move to the beat of the music.

4. Nature: It’s pure and perfect beauty stops me in my tracks and washes the thoughts from my mind.

5. Speaking: When I completely surrender to the message that wants to be shared and I let the words speak through me.

6. Love: Being so overcome with the emotion of love swelling within me, that I cannot think.

7. Meditation: Drawing my attention deep within me, feeling my breath and taking my consciousness higher.

8. Yoga: That deep stretch and balance of poses that cause an all encompassing connection to the feeling of the body.

9. Gratitude: The moment I drop into my heart and tune my focus to the immense beauty that surrounds me and the gifts I have in my life, I feel my whole body settle and my mind become soft and spacious.


What Are Your Doorways?

+ What helps you drop into that deep pool of silence within?

+ What quietens your mind and allows you to feel?

+ What moves you so deeply that you feel your heart crack open?

+ What inspires you so strongly that it consumes every inch of your being?

+ Where do you find such profound beauty that it overcomes you?

+ What do you lose yourself in to the extent that time passes without you even knowing?

+ When do you experience that deep sigh-of-relief feeling of letting go and release?

+ What engrosses your attention so fully that there is no room for anything else?

+ Where do you feel the most surrendered?

+ What allows you to fly freely above the limitations of your rational mind?

+ What brings you so much joy that you feel love beaming out of your cheeks?

+ What helps you feel still?

+ When do you feel most connected to the palpable presence of your inner being?


What is your doorway to stillness? What allows you to sidestep your mind and drop into serenity, bliss, joy and peace? Share with me in the comments below.


Want to continue following the Skinny Dip Society Blog Tour? Check out the lineup, or read yesterday’s post from Jara. And also make sure you check out tomorrow’s post by Jody.

This post also forms part of a series of posts I am writing on the power of laying strong inner foundations. Stillness forms one of the key 7 core practices I am working on. Read more about my inner foundation practises here.

With love. 

Connie x

6 thoughts on “My 9 Doorways to Stillness (& How To Discover Yours)”

  1. I’ve recently been trying to reconnect with my inner self and have found that for me, drawing is what centers me. As a child I used to draw everything, but as I grew older I stopped drawing just for the sake of drawing and came into the habit of comparing my work to others. This took the joy of creating tangible visual thoughts from me, by the time I entered college I had completely lost all self confidence in drawing.

    Now a few years later I am reconnecting again with that space of innocence, where no self doubt exists, just pure joy at putting ink to paper. I hadn’t realized how much happiness I tapped into from drawing until I started up again. Just a small sketch a few minutes everyday has grounded me so much! You are absolutely right, these moments of stillness really do bring us closer to out true selves. As I draw more and more, I’m finding the minutes easily become stretched to longer. It’s these moments where my heart beats pure joy 🙂

    1. Lisa I absolutely love what you have shared! I feel the same way when I paint. So easy to skip over those small and simple things that bring us such pure joy x

  2. YES to THIS!

    “In the pursuit to live a big, glamorous life it can be incredibly easy to sweep over the one most precious gift that is sitting within, and which is actually the essence of everything you seek.”

    Beautiful words xo

  3. Connie – this was such a beautiful post and so directly spoke to me. During times when things feel too busy, too chaotic and too ungrounded, it’s easy for me to freak out, want to quit, or want to hide… and yet I forget that I too can instantly find my aliveness in my stillness the second I choose it.

    You read my heart: “It is in these moments that I am able to reconnect with myself, my inner bering and the energy of my spirit that is ever present within me. It becomes a tangible and palpable presence that I can literally taste.”

    Taste! YES taste… walking for no reason but walk, painting, and simple being in nature all help me come alive and find the stillness. The feeling of joy, peace, and abundance can’t be described.

    Thank you SO much for this post, your beauty, your wisdom. You are a rare gem. thank you. xo

    1. Writing this post was such an incredible reminder for me of how simple it is to find what we are seeking. We think we need to do or change so much in order to find peace, but it is literally one breath away. That moment we can slow down and tune in, it is right there waiting for us. Thank you again for letting me a part of your beautiful blog tour Katie xx

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